Toy Review: Talking Mistletoe

I feel like Hallmark is constantly trying to break its own record on most offensive holiday merchandise. Here's the most recent offering I've gotten my hands on:

I have a hard time imagining what the target demographic is for people who'd want to be sexually harassed by plastic mistletoe speaking in a fake accent so stereotypical, Pepé Le Pew would be offended, but apparently someone at Hallmark thought it was large enough to bet their job on.

I'd like to take a moment to point out I found this marked down from $9.95 to $1.00 at Walgreens, and the person behind the counter looked surprised when I said I wanted to purchase it.

The sound feature is loud and clear, which makes it easy to understand, even with the accent. It has eight different gags, which is more than things like this usually come with. Needless to say, both of these points should be considered as negatives.

Do I really need to say the jokes are bad? I feel like this thing speaks for itself. For those of you who didn't watch the video, the previous sentence was actually slightly more clever than the puns recorded on this thing.

And just in case the prior video wasn't terrifying enough, here's two of them facing each other:

Hey, for a buck each, I figured I should pick up a second as a gift. Who's getting it? Don't know yet: I'm waiting to see who pisses me off this year.