Mainlining Christmas

Lindsay and I wound up seeing this because our daughter has become fixated on Winne the Pooh. I believe we've now watched or re-watched all of the animated movies at least once; most more than that. Judging by her level of excitement while this was playing, I'm guessing we're going to watch this several more times, so I actually wanted to write it up before I become sick of the damn thing. "More sick" might be a more accurate description. Don't get me wrong: I'm a fan of the bear with very little brain and have been for a very long time. Hell, I used to wear a Winnie the Pooh pendant in college, and I'd take it out when asked about my religion. It was a joke, of course, but my affection for the character is genuine. I still love the original Disney shorts and the movie they were compiled into, and I was pleasantly surprised to find The Tigger Movie - something I'd last seen in theaters - holds up. The 2011 movie is pretty great, too. But as we'...

Even the title of this animated movie is difficult to unravel. This was a Finnish production, but it was animated in English before being released with several different titles, including at least two English titles depending on which country you were in. "The Flight Before Christmas" is the title for the US release, the far superior "Niko & The Way to the Stars" is the title in other English-speaking markets, and "Niko – Lentäjän poika" (which translates to something like, "Niko: Flier's Son") is the Finnish title. And, as far as I can tell, none of these are any more or less official than the others. Despite a strong preference for "The Way of the Stars," I'm going with the US title, since that's how this is primarily listed in the US. Adding complications, there are a few different versions of this floating around, because at some point this was also cut down to 45 minutes and shown on TV. For better or worse, we watc...

Okay, we'll start with the world's silliest spoiler warning, because this Christmas ghost story  technically  has a twist ending, but you probably already know what it is. No, really, regardless of whether you've even heard of this, without knowing the premise or anything about it aside from the fact it's got ghosts in it and it was made in 2003, the thing you're expecting is the thing it does, to the point I'm honestly unsure whether it was even intended as an actual twist, a meta-commentary on how common those became following the success of The Sixth Sense, or even a gimmick to ensure every single person in the audience gets an endorphin rush as their suspicions are confirmed. But, again, structurally the movie ends with a twist reveal and the bulk of the film is executed quite well, so... if you want to be surprised when it's revealed the near-collision at the start of the movie was actually a crash which killed all but one of the main characters, I reco...

For better or worse (or more accurately first for better then subsequently for worse) this 2009 movie written and directed by Richard Kelly (the Donnie Darko guy) based on the 1970 short story by the legendary Richard Matheson leaves you utterly perplexed as to what it is you're actually watching. "Button, Button" (the story it's adapted from) is fairly straightforward as far as these things go, based on the idea a box is dropped off containing a button which if pressed will result in a financial payout but also the death of someone the presser doesn't know. In the original story, the death was the husband of the woman who pressed the button (the loophole being she supposedly never really knew him); when this was adapted for the Twilight Zone series in the '80s, they altered the ending to instead imply the next recipient would be someone the previous holders didn't know. This... I mean.... Okay, spoiler warning, I guess. This isn't a movie I'll be ...

This is one of several movies I found on a BFI list of great Christmas movies of the 21st century . Like a few movies on that list, Moven Callar's holiday credentials are a tad dubious - I'd defend this as a Christmas movie, but it's a pretty close margin. What's less ambiguous is the quality. The movie is gorgeously shot, with a fantastic performance from Samantha Morton in a role conveyed largely through physicality. I don't quite agree with the assessment in the article linked above that she "barely says a word throughout the film," but it's notable that virtually nothing she says offers a hint as to why she's doing any of the things she does. The movie is exceptionally good, and those in the mood for something dark and meditative will find it a satisfying experience, provided they're not easily frustrated by narratives that are disinterested in explaining themselves. So, take all that into account before reading on, because - as usual - we...

FYI: This show is watched by our 4-year-old. Her feedback will be included in this review. WorldWorld is a PBS show (originally 2007-2011) that teaches preschoolers basic spelling and phonics along with some other positive messages. I've always found it generally amusing, although the in-world rules raise a lot of questions.  All the things, including the characters, are physically made up of the letters that spell their names. And if you can spell something, you can create it. For example, if you line up the letters H, A, T, you now have a hat. So it's a bit like the Star Trek question of why anything would be scarce in a world with replicators, but it's an exponentially larger issue here because the characters find letters basically anywhere (they don't seem to be a finite resource) and in several episodes, it's established that you can pluralize words to create infinite stuff.  Each half-hour episode includes two separate stories.   The Christmas Star This story...

Well, this one's going to be hard as hell to rate. On a technical level, The Children is an extremely impressive movie. It's well-shot with atmospheric visuals, effective jump scares, and a really unnerving premise. The central conceit, that children turn on adults, is executed so convincingly I'm honestly unsure whether to credit the film's editing or the performances of the young actors for selling the kids as terrifying, deadly, and remorseless. And if reading the last paragraph made you a little sick to your stomach, you may already have an inkling of the "but" coming up. Just because you can show something in a movie doesn't necessarily mean you should. I kind of feel like I just watched a new form of exploitation being invented. Okay, "new" is an overstatement, and not just because the actors playing The Children's young antagonists are now old enough they might have kids of their own. While the details of the premise have changed, the...

Bridget Jones's Diary appears on a fair number of lists of Christmas and New Year's movies, usually with the caveat that most of the movie doesn't take place on the holiday, which is probably why we glossed over it for as long as we did. But now that we're exploring less restrictive definitions of "Christmas movie," I thought it was time to give this a watch, which led to a couple surprising revelations. First, while only a fraction of the movie is set over the holidays, this would have applied under even our stricter criteria, as its thematic use of those celebrations (particularly New Year's) permeates the entire film. But second and more important is that this movie absolutely fucking rules. I'll be honest - I hadn't expected that. I'm not sure why I assumed it wouldn't, but I suspect it has something to do with the trailer (I just looked it up on YouTube, and it certainly isn't doing the movie any favors). But the film itself is hil...

Well, I probably shouldn't be reviewing this. First, a little background. Or in this case, lack thereof, because that's sort of the problem. I put this on having no clue what it was after seeing it on a list of science fiction films on Criterion. I'd seen virtually everything else on the list, but I'd never even heard of 2046, so I trusted it would be at least interesting and pressed play. The short version is that it is interesting, it is not  science fiction, but it was (surprisingly) a Christmas movie. Well, sort of a Christmas movie. I'll get to that. Also, it's not entirely not science fiction. I'll get to that, too. But first I want to highlight another aspect I wasn't ready for: it's the third movie in a trilogy. Sort of. I'm... not really going to get around to explaining that, because I'm still a little unclear on the details. Okay, my understanding is the main character of this appears in an earlier movie, and a minor character from...

Here's another random show that my kid likes. The Book of Pooh was a Disney Channel show telling new Pooh stories with puppets and CG backgrounds. Looking back at it today it's a bit dated at times, but at other times it resembles pop-up illustrations or watercolors in an interesting way. Like many kids shows, it features music and mildly educational content. In this special Christmas episode, Roo can't sleep on the night before Christmas Eve, so Kanga sings him a song-story about a magic wish-granting tree that appears if there's snow on Christmas Eve. Side note: Kanga and Roo weren't in the first season of this show, so I hadn't seen much of their house before this episode. Roo's bedroom has a boomerang displayed on the wall and a prominent toy koala. I think that's a cute touch. Kanga doesn't completely finish the story before Roo gets distracted and then falls asleep, so Roo assumes the tree grants any wish for anyone (which is not what she said)...

Calling Two Front Teeth, a Christmas horror/comedy hybrid about a vampiric Santa and his elves, low budget is a bit of an understatement (or perhaps I should say overstatement, as I suspect the filmmakers had less money than even the phrase "low budget" usually implies). This is a micro-budget horror film that looks more like an ambitious student project than an independent production, the sort of movie produced by friends on nights and weekends. That, of course, makes it difficult to review, because barring a handful of miracles that launched careers with projects like these, films at this level are virtually incapable of competing with those made with actual resources. And since no one's talking about this the way they discuss El Mariachi or The Blair Witch Project, you already know it's not one of the exceptions. At the same time, there's a great deal to appreciate here, starting with that premise (credit where it's due - they beat me to the idea by six yea...

Let it not be said this British TV version is short on ambition. Set in what was then modern-day London, it centers on "Eddie Scrooge," played by Ross Kemp. Eddie is a loan shark whose partner, Jacob Marley, was gunned down years earlier. The movie actually opens with a flashback to that event, though we don't learn who the killer is yet. We then follow Eddie through Christmas Eve, as he collects on debts, harasses people, is dismissed by his ex, Bella, and is a jerk to his employee, Bob Cratchit. He also ignores his nephew's pleas to attend Christmas dinner, though there's at least a reason for their falling out: his nephew is a cop. That night, Eddie sees an image of Marley appear in a poster asking for information about Marley's murder. Then Marley shows up in Scrooge's apartment. The meeting is brief, but - as you'd expect - he warns Eddie he'll be visited by three ghosts. The first of said ghosts is Eddie's father, who punches his way out ...