Mainlining Christmas

At the time I'm writing this, I'm six episodes into season 2 of "What If...?" and my largest takeaway might be that Disney bullocked the release of this season majorly. The first season, you may recall, felt like an event: it was treated like a significant series, episodes were released weekly, and it was widely discussed. The second season, in contrast, feels closer to the release of those Groot shorts: I doubt most subscribers of Disney+ even realize the show dropped one a day over Christmas. And that's kind of a shame because, with the exception of a couple lackluster episodes, the first six installments of this season might be better on average than those in season one. The bad news for our purposes is I'm counting the one we're here to discuss among those "lackluster episodes." Released on December 24th, "What If Happy Hogan Saved Christmas?" is basically what you'd expect: a holiday action/comedy homage to Die Hard centered ar...

It's almost easier to describe Merry Christmas as a neo-noir that serves as a throwback to American noir Christmas films of the '40s and '50s, as well as Hitchcock's mysteries, and leave it at that. Only doing so ignores the fact it's an Indian film set in Mumbai and filmed simultaneously in Hindi and Tamil and based on a French crime novel called "Le Monte-charge" which was previously adapted into a 1962 film called, "Paris Pick-Up" (which I'm absolutely adding to my watchlist, despite a sinking suspicion I'll never find a copy). All of which is to say the movie is an intricate web of references and homages spanning continents and eight decades, some of which I'm qualified to discuss and others... not so much. The movie is dedicated to a famous Indian director, and dialogue in the movie itself references what I assume are Indian films inspiring Merry Christmas - I'm sure there are layers I'm missing because I lack a backgroun...

A throwback to '80s and '90s kid's comedy genre flicks (think Small Soldiers), Dear Santa is an amusing, high-concept family film posing the question, "What if a kid misspelled "Santa" and wound up summoning the Devil by mistake?" I should note it isn't alone in exploring this idea - there's apparently a movie from the Philippines with virtually the same premise and (depending on how things shake out) possibly the same title that might get released soon (though it's having some issues with various censors). Also, some guy wrote a similar short story twelve years ago with a very different tone you can read here . And of course Christmas demons are nothing new. Hell, Christmas demons in movies built around kids are nothing new - Krampus , Rare Exports , and The Sacrifice Game all feature protagonists in their teens. But those are all horror movies, intended for older audiences, while Dear Santa is targeted directly at kids and families. Just m...

We're going to start this off with a combination spoiler and content warning, because I absolutely loved this movie, it's packed with twists and surprises you're better off not knowing about, and it's also got some extremely disturbing sequences some of you probably are better off being aware of before deciding whether to see it. If gore and violence are dealbreakers for you, this might be worth avoiding, or at the very least holding off until someone who knows your precise limits can advise you on whether it's worth proceeding. However, if you're able to handle a handful of brutal moments, the payoffs here are plentiful, and - again - better if you don't know what's coming. So if you enjoy horror, dark fantasy, or anything of the sort, please stop reading now if that warning didn't scare you off. This is one of the rare incidences where it actually matters. The Sacrifice Game is sort of a nesting doll of genres, twists, and ideas. It lets you in on ...

It's a little odd that Christmas paranormal romantic comedy has grown into a subgenre, but perhaps it shouldn't be entirely surprising. To recap, we've now had movies about Christmas elves , Santa Claus , Santa's daughter , Santa's son , and  Christmas ghosts  finding love. This is addition to The Santa Clause 2: The Mrs. Clause and Elf , which could be viewed as examples of or precursors to the subgenre. And then of course there's The Bishop's Wife , which explores a great deal of the same territory. But until Hot Frosty I'm unfamiliar with anyone applying the template to a magic snowman, though the 1998 movie,  Jack Frost , covered everything other than romance. At this point we're just missing one of these about a were-reindeer to complete the set ( The White Reindeer  isn't comedy, a romance, or a Christmas movie, but I'm going to link to my review anyway since there's some of overlap and - more importantly - it's fantastic). The...

This might be the last Christmas those of us in the United States celebrate as a free country. I'm guessing a lot of you think that's hyperbole. I really wish I thought so, as well. But the fact of the matter is the voters of this country were just presented with the easiest citizenship test in the nation's history and somehow failed so hard we're on the cusp of literal authoritarianism. None of this is set in stone. The people taking power are notoriously bad at everything, so there's a chance they'll screw this up, as well. Alternatively, it's possible the courts, other branches of government, or institutions will surprise us and prevent the further deterioration of the checks and balances that barely held last time. These are awful times, but they're not hopeless. But they're bad enough I absolutely stand by that first sentence. This could be the last Christmas this country has as a free, democratic nation. If you don't think that's true, ...