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Showing posts from December 15, 2024

Dead End (2003)

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Okay, we'll start with the world's silliest spoiler warning, because this Christmas ghost story  technically  has a twist ending, but you probably already know what it is. No, really, regardless of whether you've even heard of this, without knowing the premise or anything about it aside from the fact it's got ghosts in it and it was made in 2003, the thing you're expecting is the thing it does, to the point I'm honestly unsure whether it was even intended as an actual twist, a meta-commentary on how common those became following the success of The Sixth Sense, or even a gimmick to ensure every single person in the audience gets an endorphin rush as their suspicions are confirmed. But, again, structurally the movie ends with a twist reveal and the bulk of the film is executed quite well, so... if you want to be surprised when it's revealed the near-collision at the start of the movie was actually a crash which killed all but one of the main characters, I reco...

You've Got Mail (1998)

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I'll be arguing that You've Got Mail is, in fact, a Christmas movie and further that the movie implicitly tells us as much, despite simultaneously going out of its way not to set the bulk of its runtime on the holiday (at least not clearly), and further to obfuscate and play down the significance of holidays in general. However, from the perspective of a viewer, this is going to feel more like a movie with a few scenes around Christmas than anything you'd typically think of as a holiday movie, which is why I'll also be tagging this "Not Christmas." Its holiday connections aren't quite as much of a puzzle as, say, Alien: Covenant , but it's relationship with Christmas is more similar to that than, say, The Shop Around the Corner , despite being a loose remake of that film. It's worth noting that the majority of the runtime of The Shop Around the Corner isn't centered around Christmas, either, but that film concludes with the holiday, using assoc...

There's Something in the Barn (2023)

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The last fifteen years has seen a number of attempts to adapt northern European Christmas folklore into horror. Rare Exports  gave us a version of the Yule Goat, both A Christmas Horror Story and  Krampus  (as well as numerous low-budget horror flicks) have played with the now iconic demon (though I'd argue the character in the latter more closely resembles the Yule Goat, but that's a subject for another time), and another installment in the aforementioned  A Christmas Horror Story  was inspired by the tomte (which is essentially another name for the nisse). And of course there's the Danish series, Nisser , which Netflix picked up and rebranded, "Elves." Looking further back, there's a strong case to be made that  Gremlins  was in part inspired by the same lore, albeit filtered through WWII stories and the mind of Roald Dahl. Regardless, put a pin in Gremlins, because we'll be circling back. There's Something in the Barn represents a somewhat mo...

Book Review: Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret

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Book Review: Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret Benjamin Stevenson, 2024 New Release! I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.  This is a weird one. It's book three in a series, and I haven't read the others. However, I think the bigger factor here is that this book (and its series) is written in a particular style of extremely meta humor which... isn't for everyone. Ernie Cunningham was a mystery buff before his life turned into Murder, She Wrote. With two solved murders under his belt (and written into the previous books, which exist in the world of the story), he's beginning to get a reputation. Enter - the Christmas Special. (The prologue literally has the narrator say that this is a Christmas special.) It's the lead up to Christmas, and he's traveling to see a magician do a holiday benefit show, because the CEO of the nonprofit the benefit is for was murdered, and Ernie's ex-wife (currently the nonprofit guy's ...

I, the Jury (1953)

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Bordering on self-parody to the point I'm not entirely certain what was and wasn't intentional, "I, the Jury" might be the most Christmas noir movie I've come across to date. From start to end, this wants you to know it's set during the holidays. As for noir, it encapsulates the style, tone, and tropes of the quasi-genre to the point of absurdity. The movie lacks subtlety to the point it honestly feels closer to the sort of parody or homage you'd see in a TV sitcom dream sequence about a cynical private eye surrounded (and I do mean surrounded ) by femme fatales. None of that is inherently good or bad, depending on what you're in the mood for. More accurately, it's not enjoyable or unenjoyable: the writing, acting, and directing is all pretty bad here (though the cinematography and set design is quite good). If cheesy noir mystery sounds like a fun way to spend your evening, this absolutely delivers that experience. Dissecting how this came to be d...

Come to the Stable (1949)

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Describing Come to the Stable as a comedy doesn't quite convey the tone of this lighthearted, charming film about two nuns from a French convent traveling to the town of Bethlehem (the one in New England, mind you, not the famous one) on a mission to repay a debt to God by building a children's hospital. This thing is whimsical, with sensibilities more in line with a cartoon's than a straightforward comedy. Think a 40s take on Phineas and Ferb where the main characters are sisters instead of brothers, and where "sister" is an official designation. The Phineas and Ferb comparison is more apt than you'd think. For one thing, the nuns aren't really given strong character arcs of their own, but instead serve as catalysts for other characters' arcs. To be clear, this isn't a flaw: contrary to what a distressingly large number of internet commentators (as well as an even more distressingly large number of Hollywood producers) have come to believe, not ev...

Adult Swim Yule Log (2022)

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I'm not sure how this one snuck by me two years ago. I don't recall having heard of it once before buzz around the sequel put it on my radar. Then again, maybe I just glossed over it at the time, assuming that whatever it was, it wasn't worth my time. By design, this movie - and make no mistake, it is a feature-length horror/comedy movie - was designed to fly under the radar and build on word-of-mouth. Ideally, that and a recommendation are enough to pique your interest. If so... just go watch it. Need a little more encouragement? The closest things I can compare this to are John Dies at the End and Twin Peaks. Especially Twin Peaks. This thing has Twin Peaks energy spilling out of its fireplace. If either or both of those are things that appeal to you, there's a good chance you're going to be pleasantly surprised by this gonzo production. "Gonzo" is the right word, too. This was greenlit by Adult Swim and financed through a slush fund to keep higher-ranki...

Novella Review: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

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Novella Review: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas Julianna Keyes, 2024 New Release! I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.  I've been reviewing a bunch of retellings this year, and this very nearly qualifies. It starts with a writer on a Christmas Train, after all.  Only in reality, it's more a funny subversion of Hallmark tropes with a happily-ever-after.  Eve and Will are travel writers, and their boss somehow sent them both to cover Christmas in this special holiday resort town. Whoever writes the best article gets a pending promotion. (This is a set-up that makes no sense. Not because of the promotion, but because you wouldn't write about a special (probably prohibitively expensive) Christmas experience in a travel magazine AFTER the holiday.) The problem is that both Eve and Will are Christmas cynics, but their boss isn't at all. They know she's going to want the schmaltzy, feel-good story, and they both str...

Wandafuru Raifu [After Life] (1998)

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While I'm absolutely stretching to discuss it as a Christmas movie, After Life is a 1998 Japanese fantasy drama written and directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda about a facility between life and death where souls spend a week, during which they choose a single memory the support staff will recreate on film, which will be screened for the spirits prior to their departure for the hereafter. They're told the memory they select will be the only one they retain. The movie exists more as a loosely structured exploration of memory, perspective, and meaning. There's virtually no conflict, and what's present is relatively muted, focusing more on its characters' internal journeys than external drama. It's a solemn, meditative experience - depending on how you approach things like that, you're either going to find this mesmerizing or excruciatingly dull. You can count me in the first camp, by the way - I'm absolutely a fan. But I'm pretty sure if I'd tried watchin...

Tantei Jimusho 23: Kutabare Akutōdomo [Detective Bureau 2-3: Go to Hell Bastards!] (1963)

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I haven't seen nearly enough yakuza films from any era - let alone the early '60s - to weigh in personally on how abnormal "Detective Bureau 2-3: Go to Hell Bastards!" is, but the blurb on Criterion implies it deviates from director Seijun Suzuki's other productions by leaning further into a whimsical, silly tone and style. Regardless of context, American audiences going in with existing expectations based on the subject matter are likely going to be surprised to find what's ultimately a pretty ridiculous film with bright colors, over-the-top characters, and a meandering storyline. This reminded me more of early Bond movies than of anything else I've seen out of Japan, though - again - I'm not at all an expert on Japanese cinema. Still, I suspect it's not entirely coincidental that Dr. No came out just a year beforehand. That said, this has a far sillier tone than any Bond installment until Diamonds Are Forever, so I suspect most of the similaritie...

Sugarplummed (2024)

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I find myself using the word "frustrating" a lot when talking about Hallmark Christmas movies and the adjacent genre they inhabit. In this case, I'm using it in a somewhat favorable light, as what's frustrating is the disconnect between the stuff that works and the stuff that doesn't. This starts out as a pretty serviceable comedy and maintains that for a little more than half its runtime before, well... we'll get to that. First, a little about what Sugarplummed is. Or even better, what it isn't. I'm seeing a number of sites list this as a romance, which is just plain wrong. Bizarrely wrong, in fact, to the point I find myself wondering if those categorizing it as such actually watched past the Hallmark logo. While the main character's relationship with her husband goes through a rough patch, it's all part of her strained relationship with her family, all of which is secondary to the central relationship at the core of this story: her friendshi...