Mainlining Christmas

I've been digging into old silent Christmas movies to get a better idea for how and when holiday tropes formed. This one stands out. To clarify, I'm not saying you should track this down. Most of you would find it tedious and pointless. But for me, it's the missing link for a number of ideas and concepts common in modern Christmas films. This represents the earliest example in film I've come across to date for a number of elements, and that alone is enough to make me excited. Let's back up and discuss what this is, because - setting aside all that - the film itself is a bit bonkers. It's the creation of Frank E. Kleinschmidt, an explorer and documentarian, who seems to have realized he could make more money off footage of the Arctic if he brought along a Santa suit and spliced that with some scenes filmed in a studio with a different actor. As such, this isn't remotely story-driven. The movie opens with a passage from A Visit from St. Nicholas, before cuttin...

Disclaimer up front: I would not consider this a Christmas movie, and was on the fence about writing it up at all. The holidays are never discussed until a character unexpectedly mentions it's Christmas Eve around the 35-minute mark, and less than twenty minutes later, the New Year's Eve section ends. Aside from some scattered decorations and a lot of snow, there's not really anything else to even superficially tie it back to the holidays. A few years ago, I wouldn't even have considered writing this up, but our philosophy has shifted a bit towards examining how the holidays are used in media, as opposed to only focusing on movies that meet our arbitrary definition. In addition, well... there's actually something interesting going on here with the holidays I'll get to in a moment. First, let's talk about the movie itself. "Better Off Dead" is an '80s romantic comedy written and directed by Savage Steve Holland, creator of Eek! The Cat, and star...

This is the second time in the space of a year an animated movie was abandoned by the studio that made it, got purchased by a streaming service, and turned out to be... well... pretty goddamn great (the other being the absolute masterpiece  Nimona ). I mention this in part to draw attention to the fact the same person who decided Merry Little Batman wasn't worth releasing on Max is also the guy who wrote off at least two virtually completed films: Batgirl and Scoob! Holiday Haunt... both of which were apparently Christmas movies we'll likely never have an opportunity to watch or discuss here. He's also the same guy who called The Flash the best superhero movie he'd ever seen, in case anyone thought his opinion was worth taking seriously. To summarize, fuck studio executives. I'm sorry. That's really not an appropriate way to kick off an article about a kids' movie, is it? Let me start over.... This kids' movie fucking rules. There. Much better.  Funny, s...

I kind of wish I could claim I just randomly stumbled across this gem, but the truth is I found this - along with a handful of other movies - on this list of great European Christmas films last year. Three Wishes for Cinderella (we'll stick with the English title, though apparently, "Three Chestnuts for Cinderella" would have been a more accurate translation) is an adaptation of the classic fairytale. Or, more precisely, an adaptation of a specific version of said fairytale written by Božena Němcová a century earlier (thanks, Wikipedia!). The movie is set during the holidays and is apparently a tradition in some areas of Europe the way Rudolph or Frosty is here. I'll circle back to the holidays, but first I want to dig into why this is - in my opinion, of course - the best live-action version of Cinderella I've ever seen. Maybe the best version, period (the Disney classic is probably my least favorite of their films from that era). And if you're tempted to ob...

I'd seen conflicting reports on whether or not Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush was a Christmas movie, so I decided to check for myself. I've seen several of Chapman's other films over the past year, and consider him one of the most consistently entertaining filmmakers of his era (possibly the most entertaining, in fact). While The Gold Rush might be my least favorite of his movies I've seen to date, it's still quite good, and it technically meets our definition for a Christmas movie, which you probably guessed from the fact you're reading this at all. I want to stress that the word "technically" is doing some heavy lifting. The movie doesn't mention or acknowledge Christmas itself, though both Thanksgiving and New Year's are significant dates in the narrative, making it easy to confirm the bulk of screen time is spent on or between these holidays. In fact, only the first and last fifteen minutes fall outside this range. I should mention the...

Placido, a 1961 Spanish Christmas film by Luis García Berlanga satirizing performative charity, places me in an awkward position in which my opinion and appraisal of the movie are very different from the experience I had watching it. To be clear, this is a fantastic film - my issues are not with the movie, at all. The problem is me , and unfortunately, I expect a lot of people would run into a similar issue, which is why I can't quite recommend it to most of you. The problem is one of translation, and it's not the issue you're probably expecting. But before I go on, I will say it doesn't apply if you're able to speak the language. If that's the case and you're a fan of movies from this era (or most eras, really - the comedy here is pretty timeless), by all means track this down at once. But as for the rest of my fellow dumb Americans (or British or whoever else stumbles across this blog), you'll probably want to read on. Because, while I think the movie...

Here's another random show that my kid likes. The Book of Pooh was a Disney Channel show telling new Pooh stories with puppets and CG backgrounds. Looking back at it today it's a bit dated at times, but at other times it resembles pop-up illustrations or watercolors in an interesting way. Like many kids shows, it features music and mildly educational content. In this special Christmas episode, Roo can't sleep on the night before Christmas Eve, so Kanga sings him a song-story about a magic wish-granting tree that appears if there's snow on Christmas Eve. Side note: Kanga and Roo weren't in the first season of this show, so I hadn't seen much of their house before this episode. Roo's bedroom has a boomerang displayed on the wall and a prominent toy koala. I think that's a cute touch. Kanga doesn't completely finish the story before Roo gets distracted and then falls asleep, so Roo assumes the tree grants any wish for anyone (which is not what she said)...

I'm worried this is going to get lost in the shuffle because we're looking at so many silent movies this year. This one's a little different, though, both because it's an incredibly influential and important work and because the subject matter is probably going to resonate more with the sort of people I expect (or at least hope) read this blog. The Phantom Carriage is a silent Swedish horror/drama hybrid built around a New Year's Eve legend in which the last person to die before the stroke of midnight is cursed to drive Death's carriage through the following year, collecting souls. The term "folk horror" isn't generally applied to movies prior to the 1970s, but this certainly feels like a pretty good fit. You could argue it's the first film in that subgenre, and one of the first horror films in general, coming out a year after The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and a year before Nosferatu. Before anyone gets too excited, I should add a great deal of i...

Unlike the other figures I've reviewed in this wave , I didn't preorder Pirate Santa. But after receiving the other three, I was impressed enough with the overall quality and look of the figures, I wanted to see if there were any extras in stock. Turns out I was in luck. This one's actually a minor mark of pride for me, albeit for a pretty silly reason. When the Naughty or Nice line was initially announced, there was a period where preorder goals resulted in new figures being announced and made available. I predicted they'd have a Pirate Santa waiting in the wings because elements of existing figures implied they were drawing inspiration from EC Comics and I knew the company released a story featuring a similar character  from reading this article a few years back  (third paragraph down, but the whole thing's a great read if you have the time). So 10 nerd points for me, I guess. I should note this looks nothing like Captain Bigg from the comics, though it does bea...

Executioners is the sequel to The Heroic Trio, a Hong Kong superhero team-up movie built around three superheroines: Wonder Woman (not that  Wonder Woman), the Invisible Woman (not that Invisible Women, either), and Thief-Catcher (not that... no, wait, I think we're good here). I should note that I have no idea whether the monikers of Wonder Woman and The Invisible Woman correspond with the respective names of the Marvel and DC heroes in Cantonese. The characters don't seem at all connected, for what that's worth. It's also worth noting that both films were released in 1993. If you're wondering whether Executioners feels rushed as a result... yes, of course it does. Obviously. But we'll circle back to that. Let's talk a little about the heroines. Wonder Woman, played by Anita Mui, is essentially a masked ninja, more akin to Batman than Diana Prince. Of the three, she's the most unambiguously heroic. Thief-Catcher (Maggie Cheung) starts out more in the ve...