Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Watching these movies as an adult is a surreal experience. By all rights, Kevin's actions should have killed those two burglars several times over. And never mind the fact that he leaves his uncle's house a literal deathtrap.

But, to be fair, neither this movie nor its predecessor were intended to be realistic. No, they're supposed to be comedies, which is how they should be judged.

Hey. You know what would have helped? If these movies had actually been funny.

I'm going to try to separate this from part one, which is actually pretty difficult, since they're the same damn movie. I mean, sure, this one's set in New York, but other than that, there's not really a single discernible difference in the plot. Even the jokes are reused.

The movie starts with Kevin and his family getting into another ludicrously unbelievable fight over his behavior. They oversleep... again... but all make it to the airport together. He winds up separated and on his own in New York City, where he cons his way into the Plaza Hotel.

Due to an extremely bizarre coincidence, the two robbers from part one have broken out of jail and made their way to New York. They run into Kevin, and stupidity commences. In order to ensure that they're sufficiently evil, they plan to murder the kid. This seems... excessive, but then again he did do some horrible things to them in part one.

He easily escapes them, after they've told him their plans to rob a toy store which is planning to donate all their Christmas income to charity. At this point, he of course goes straight to the police, who show up at the store in time to arrest the felons red-handed, then promptly reunite the boy with his family.

Hahaha! Just kidding. No, instead he breaks into a house owned by a relative who's out of town for the holiday. The house, located in midtown near Central Park and therefore worth tens of million dollars, is being renovated. At least, we're told it's being renovated: in reality, it's a dilapidated urban deathtrap BEFORE Kevin goes to work.

He lures the criminals there, proceeds to torture them, then leads them into the park. They randomly get the upper hand for a moment, before an old man with a shovel an old woman with pigeons comes to his rescue.

Quick aside about the old homeless lady: does anyone know why she has an Irish accent? This is New York, not Dublin. Also, why is she discussing her trust issues with a kid? And why am I asking stupid questions?

So. This movie sucks. I'm not sure whether it's actually worse than the first, but it's certainly more boring sitting through the same damn thing again.

Next year: Home Alone 3.