Alf's Special Christmas (1987)

First of all, I'd like to send a very special "thank you, but I thought we were FRIENDS" to Jeff Burns for sending us the link to this delightful holiday classic.

I actually remember seeing this when it first aired.  Hey, I was a child of the 80's, and Alf was a part of that.  I remember Gordon Shumway, Melmac, and even that music video he made for the Tanners' daughter.  I have good memories watching this show as a child.

Yes, Virginia, children are stupid.

That editorial, by the way, gets read twice during the special.  It's the abridged version you hear everywhere, of course, with all the great fairy references omitted.

The "plot" of the hour-long special revolves around Alf getting in a fight with the Tanners and winding up trapped in the back of a van with a bunch of Christmas presents on their way to the hospital.  He winds up getting handed over to a dying girl, who teaches him the true meaning of melodrama in a long, drawn out, sappy sequence.

On his way out of the hospital, Alf helps deliver a baby after an unbelievably convoluted sequence of coincidences traps him alone in an elevator with a woman giving birth.  By the way, I don't know what woman complain about - I've learned from TV that the process is extremely quick and simple.  I mean, the entire childbirth took about twenty minutes, and the baby was clean as a whistle.

Then it's off to an attempted suicide sequence ever so similar to the one in "It's a Wonderful Life."  I mean, did they have to name the character George?  Alf, conveniently (and inexplicably) dressed as Santa Claus is on hand to save the day, and the crappy special moves on to its crappy conclusion, having finished proving that everything positive I remember about this show is a lie.

Don't believe me?  It's up on Hulu right now.  Go on.  Click through.  I dare you.