Ten Reasons To Celebrate Christmas

Ten Reasons to Celebrate Christmas

10. Technically, there's no real evidence Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.

9. In a pinch, glass bulbs make excellent projectiles. It's good to have them around, in case of home invasion.

8. Millions of trees are cut down every year as decorations. Trees are assholes.

7. Retail employees need at least one holiday off, now that they're all scheduled to work Thanksgiving.

6. To celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Dionysus.

5. Irony.

4. It pisses off a lot of people who aren't Christian.

3. It REALLY pisses off a lot of people who are Christian.

2. Having a drying pine tree in your house for a month and half ensures you gets your money's worth from your fire insurance.

1. Presents.