Game Review: Holiday Helper

What's your opinion of humanity? I ask, because it's about to be lowered.

Holiday Helper isn't really a "game" in any meaningful sense of the word. It's not really ANYTHING in any meaningful sense of any word, though it seems to be masquerading as a party planning assistant. That's what I get from the back, anyway:

The box is almost seven by five inches and one and a half inches thick. There's room for quite a lot in here. Only, in this case, it's a lot of air.

In case it's unclear just how ridiculous this is, here's a picture with everything - yes, everything - unpacked.

Turns out, when the back makes a big deal about how the cards include 12 contests, 12 party themes, and 12 drink recipes, it neglects to mention these are crammed into the same 12 cards. That, two dice, and some cheap knickknacks are all that's included.

The cards are ludicrously stupid. I'm not really sure who the target audience is for these. It's 2017 - frat houses have internet access. Even if the drink recipes are good (and, no, I'm not going to invest the time and money to try them out), the online world is full of resources for college kids looking to get alcohol poisoning in interesting ways.

Then there are the contests and themes. Most of the contests are pretty obvious from the accouterments (i.e.: roll some dice or fling a football, forget what the hell's going on, and take a drink). The themes are no better - hell, these hacks even wedged in an "Ugly Sweater Party" card.

Hilariously, this was originally priced at $11.99. Keep in mind, you're getting twelve cards, two dice, a miniature football, a rubber ball, and a plastic chip. They shouldn't even charge a buck for this junk.

Which means I got ripped off, even at 75% off. Don't make my mistake, folks. This crap is absolutely worthless.