Mainlining Christmas 2016 Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

It's time for the annual Mainlining Christmas Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide! Okay, so technically we've never actually written one of these before, but tossing the term "annual" onto the front just gives it some much needed gravitas. Besides, if ever there was a year the public needed some help finding that perfect gift, this is it.

I mean, what do you get the person who already has everything in their fallout shelter? It's a tough nut to crack, but we've been wracking our brains to come up with the best holiday solutions.

The Fondoodler

Ever want to write with melted cheese using what amounts to a caulk gun? If so, the Fondoodler is what you've been waiting for. The Fondoodler can turn almost any cheese into whiz. Perfect for the foodie on your list!

A Digital Subscription to the New York Times, Washington Post, etc.
Now that we're on the precipice of living in a nation where the free press is threatened at every turn, the news media needs money and support. A digital subscription accomplishes this while simultaneously proving something valuable to the recipient... all without producing paper waste.

Poop Freeze

This budget-conscious option is a perfect stocking-stuffer for the comic-book or science fiction fan on your holiday shopping list: it's essentially a working freeze ray, albeit one calibrated for the specific task of pet waste disposal.

Donations to Charities
Cards on the table - in years past, these may have amounted to little more than a way to avoid having to think of a real present to get someone. But now that everything we know and love is threatened, supporting the organizations trying to save the world is a bit more tangible of an act.

The best part is, thanks to President-Elect Meisterburger's wide range of targets, there are plenty of worthy groups in need of support. So many, in fact, you should have no trouble finding the perfect fit for even the hardest person to shop for on your list.

We recommend using Jezebel's list as a starting point. Happy shopping!