Never Make an Elf Angry
Apparently, the war on Christmas just took a turn for the worse. A pastor in Denmark executed a stuffed Christmas Elf by hanging. He soon found a collection of garden gnomes in his front yard, which the media has dismissed as being from neighbors upset at the statement.
That's because they don't know the code. Christmas Elves don't operate within the law; that doesn't mean they're without order. You make a Christmas Elf mad, you can expect to hear about it. For the little things, they'll mess with your shoes. Cross a line, and they'll hire a team of dwarves to go to town on your plumbing.
But if you go after them personally - if you cross the elf family - they send you a message in gnomes. Then it's just a matter of time. Maybe days. Maybe weeks. Maybe years. Sometimes they like to do it quick; sometimes they like to let their enemies sweat.
But in the end, they'll demonstrate what those gnomes are for.
For hundreds of years, Christmas Elves have perfected the art of shoving candy, presents, and coal into stockings. They've learned to stuff the world's fattest toymaker down every chimney in the world.
Do you really want to know what they can do with garden gnomes?
That's because they don't know the code. Christmas Elves don't operate within the law; that doesn't mean they're without order. You make a Christmas Elf mad, you can expect to hear about it. For the little things, they'll mess with your shoes. Cross a line, and they'll hire a team of dwarves to go to town on your plumbing.
But if you go after them personally - if you cross the elf family - they send you a message in gnomes. Then it's just a matter of time. Maybe days. Maybe weeks. Maybe years. Sometimes they like to do it quick; sometimes they like to let their enemies sweat.
But in the end, they'll demonstrate what those gnomes are for.
For hundreds of years, Christmas Elves have perfected the art of shoving candy, presents, and coal into stockings. They've learned to stuff the world's fattest toymaker down every chimney in the world.
Do you really want to know what they can do with garden gnomes?
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