Mainlining Christmas

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" is the Rankin/Bass you can never quite remember.  That isn't to say it's the least well known: that's probably "The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus" (we couldn't find that one this year).  But, of the ones you've seen multiple times, this seems to be the hardest to recall. A pity: it's actually one of the better ones.  Actually, there's a case to be made that it might be the best. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" borrows heavily from L. Frank Baum's writings on Santa (the orphan adopted by elves and even aspects of his capture all seem to have come from there).  Of course, Baum's work would later be adapted more directly in the aforementioned "Life and Times of Santa Claus," but that's irrelevant, since hardly anyone's ever seen it. The aspects of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" that seem to strike a chord are the Winter Warlock and the Burgermeister M

A Man of Snow By: Erin Snyder I remember those blue eyes, because they were the first things I ever saw. I remember that mocking voice, because it was the first thing I ever heard. "Merry Christmas, Snowman." Yes, that was what he said. "Now live," he laughed, staring into my eyes of coal. I was so cold; there was so much pain. Why should a man made of snow be bothered by the cold? Ha! Men were never meant to be made of snow, and snow was never meant to be made into a man. Snow was never supposed to feel at all. I'd been alive for moments, and I knew this already. I knew because the power that gave me the ability to feel gave me knowledge, as well. Did the one who breathed life into me know this? I doubt he understood the depth of what he'd done, doubt he thought it through. He certainly did not know the full reach of this power, or he'd never have carved the rune that brought me to life. I knew my creator, for all things are born with

I don't think it's possible to deny this is one of the four pillars of animated Christmas Specials, along with the Grinch, Frosty, and Rudolph. Of those, I think this and the Grinch stand a little above the other two.  I like both Rudolph and Frosty, but I think they have some serious flaws.  Personally, I'm of the opinion that A Charlie Brown Christmas is more or less perfect. There are a few things that really impress me.  The first is that, by rights, I shouldn't be interested in this.  My love of Christmas is almost entirely founded in the fantasy aspects of the holiday: Santa Claus, magic, and all that.  The Christian elements have no inherent interest to me.  I'm not religious now, and I never have been.  In almost every case but this one, the "Christmas Story" bores the hell out of me. But not here.  When Linus gets up on stage and the music goes silent, my eyes and ears are glued to the screen while he delivers his monologue.  The line, &

Be sure to check out Part One of my walk up Fifth Avenue. Today we're resuming just North of 55th St, with the windows at Henri Bedel.  I like to call this window the lesbian Nutcracker:

You know, I had never seen A Christmas Story before tonight.  I mean, sure, I've randomly flipped through channels while it was on, but I've never actually watched more than a minute or two until now.  The only things I knew about this was that it's known as a holiday classic, there's a kid who wants an air rifle (despite being told he'd shoot his eye out), and that there was some sort of lamp shaped like a leg involved. Now, I know a lot more about this.  For example, I know that it was written and narrated by Jean Shepherd, who, according to Wikipedia , "had two children, a son Randall and a daughter Adrien, but publicly denied this. Randall Shepherd describes his father as having frequently come home late or not at all. Randall had almost no contact with him after his parents' divorce." Right now, I'm kind of glad Shepherd was an asshole.  It makes what I have to say about his legacy much easier. As far as classics go, this one's

Invader Zim is a weird show. It's one I really wanted to like, and kinda did like from time to time, but I generally don't enjoy watching it. If you missed it (it's obscure for some), it's an animated series with a twisted aesthetic, about an alien who is trying, and failing, to take over the Earth. Some episodes were disturbingly brilliant, others just disturbing. This was the last episode that aired in its original run (more episodes were finished but not aired for several years after the show was canceled) and actually given the “Two Million Years in the Future” frame scenes, it almost works as a weird ending. Zim discovers that humans await the return of “Santa” to save them, or something, and Zim decides to play upon their gullibility, disguise himself as Santa, and enslave all the humans. It comes fairly close to working. This episode is mostly worth watching for the ending, which is pretty fantastic, but getting there involves sitting through a lo

Like almost everyone who grew up in the 80's and 90's, The Simpsons became my favorite show almost the instant it started.  And it took a while for it to be supplanted, too.  The Simpsons had at least seven great years before running out of character-based humor and interesting stories. And this is the one that started it all.  Oh, sure, the characters were on the Tracy Ulman show prior to getting their own program, but they didn't enter the public consciousness until the Simpson's Christmas Special, more accurately called, "The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire." I remember seeing this when it first aired.  In a world that's seen Beavis and Butthead, South Park, and Adult Swim, it's hard to convey the power these characters had when they got their first half hour all to themselves.  But The Simpsons predated all that: before Bart, the most subversive animated character most of us had seen was Fred Flintstone. To be honest, I wasn't expecti

I have a fairly complicated relationship with Christmas carols.  I was a fervent believer in the separation of church and state from a young age, as well as a fervent non-believer in Jesus, but I love to sing.  This caused few problems in grade school, in which most music was of the non-challenging but secular-ish type: Up on the Rooftop, Here Comes Santa Claus and all that lot. As I got older, more religious music came into the “Winter” concerts, as they were called, and the teachers always tried to balance the songs out: a few explicitly Christian, a few holiday/secular, and one leftover slot for a Hanukkah tune. They didn't have a very large library of Hanukkah songs; I've probably sung “Hevenu Shalom Aleikhem” more than some actual Jewish kids. I grumbled privately about singing religious songs in school, but for the most part those songs have really lovely music, so I didn't grumble much. For a while I was obsessed with this version of Do You Hear What I Hear tha

I don't recall having liked The Santa Clause when I saw it years ago (probably when it aired on TV sometime in the 90's), nor do I recall thinking it was a "good" movie.  But I have vague recollections of seeing it and thinking it wasn't an excruciatingly painful experience. Turns out my memories were distorted, because that was kind of awful.  I mean, I was expecting it to be an obnoxious vehicle for Tim Allen.  And I was expecting the fat jokes as the new Santa took shape. What I wasn't expecting was the abysmal acting from just about every minor character.  Nor was I ready for reindeer fart jokes or anything of the sort. The movie has an interesting premise, which is almost certainly lifted from Piers Anthony's "Riding a Pale Horse," save that Tim Allen becomes Santa instead of Death.  Portraying "Santa" as an office rather than an individual has merit, though it certainly doesn't get enough exploration.  Actually, the mo

Now this show holds up.  There's an occasional dated reference, but in general Animaniacs is still really fun to watch.  There were two fully holiday-themed episodes released in 1993. Animaniacs: A Christmas Plotz / Little Drummer Warners (1993) Most of this episode is a cute riff on A Christmas Carol, with the CEO playing the role of Scrooge and the Warners as the ghosts. It has a nice ironic twist that I enjoyed quite a bit, and an assortment of short original songs. The second short in this episode is more or less a musical medley of Christmas Carols, loosely plotted around the Nativity. Now I'm often downright allergic to religion in my Christmas specials, but I actually found this fun and quite sweet.  The music is really well done, and a nice mix of spinning the lyrics into comedy and playing it straight. Animaniacs: Twas the Day Before Christmas / Jingle Boo / The Great Wakkorotti: The Holiday Concert / Toy Shop Terror / Yakko's Universe (1993) As you can

Apparently, the war on Christmas just took a turn for the worse .  A pastor in Denmark executed a stuffed Christmas Elf by hanging.  He soon found a collection of garden gnomes in his front yard, which the media has dismissed as being from neighbors upset at the statement. That's because they don't know the code.  Christmas Elves don't operate within the law; that doesn't mean they're without order.  You make a Christmas Elf mad, you can expect to hear about it.  For the little things, they'll mess with your shoes.  Cross a line, and they'll hire a team of dwarves to go to town on your plumbing. But if you go after them personally - if you cross the elf family - they send you a message in gnomes.  Then it's just a matter of time.  Maybe days.  Maybe weeks.  Maybe years.  Sometimes they like to do it quick; sometimes they like to let their enemies sweat. But in the end, they'll demonstrate what those gnomes are for. For hundreds of years, Chri

I have really fond memories of this movie, and I was convinced I'd regret watching it again.  I'm happy to report that not only does the movie hold up, it's actually a bit better than I remembered.  This one really deserves its status as one the best Christmas movies out there. I appreciate that a spoiler warning is fairly absurd for a movie that came out in 1947 and that almost everyone's seen a dozen times on TV, but... I want to be sure for this one.  If, for whatever reason, you've never seen this, stop reading now and go see it.  Find it on TV, put it on your Netflix queue, or buy it on Amazon.  You can buy the digital download for four bucks .  Do what you have to, but make sure you see it. What really impresses me is that this is a fantasy without the supernatural.  There's ostensibly nothing magical that occurs in the movie, and yet it's magic to the core. The movie never confirms that Kris is the real deal.  Sure, he found a house for sale m

I remember watching these episodes in high school; they often aired back-to-back.  I remembered the basic plot of each, but little else. Both of these shows are obvious, campy, melodramatic and purposely anachronistic.  I love them. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys: A Star to Guide Them (Season 3, Episode 9) The premise here is that Iolaus and two other guys are called to attend something special (the birth of Jesus, obviously.) On the way they stop to save a country full of babies by deposing a Herod-like king.  It's basically just a normal week. Corny?  Hell Yes.  These shows in general treated history like one big fun toy chest they could mix and match things from, so I'm not really bothered by the timeline problems inherent in the story.  Nor do I care that they mixed up Herod with a little Macbeth and a little Oedipus to create the main plot, and then it isn't even related to the Jesus part. Xena: Warrior Princess: A Solstice Carol  (Season 2, Episode 9)

I'm underwhelmed by Macy's "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" themed window display. Technically, it's actually quite impressive: there's some ingenious design and use of movement and perspective at work, and, thanks in part to a voice over, they actually manage to convey the story in a manner you can follow. No, my issue here isn't technical: it's personal. "Yes, Virginia," in all its incarnations, grates on me. It brings out my cynical nature. Oddly enough, I actually kind of like the editorial itself. Sure, its got logic problems (the burden of proof always lies on the party proposing the existence of the entity in question: come on, that's obvious!), but it's also really pretty. Plus, in the part everyone cuts, Church talks about fairies. And I've always really liked fairies. No, my real issues aren't with the editorial: they're with the story itself, starting with the deification of Virginia O'Ha

Until now, I've never seen an episode of Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater.  Hell, I'd never heard of the show.  Ignorance, of course, is bliss. I'm going to ignore the second half of this episode - a boring and unfunny riff on Phantom of the Opera - and focus exclusively on the first short, a boring and unfunny riff on "How the Grinch stole Christmas." There are myriad things wrong with this.  The jokes are trite, the animation is crap, and so on and so forth.  But the real issue here is that they're not so much adapting or paying tribute to the original as they are outright stealing the idea.  Yeah, they're doing it openly, but that doesn't change the fact it's still basically a version of the Grinch. If they'd changed either more or less, it wouldn't be pissing me off as much.  If they'd done it as either a parody or a straight up adaptation, it would have had a point.  But doing the basic premise with a few irritatin

While Christmas With the Joker was the second episode made of Batman: The Animated Series, it didn't air until after about a dozen others.  So, while viewers already had opportunities to see the show's take on the Clown Prince of Crime, this was really the show's first try. As in everything in this continuity (Batman: TAS, Superman, Batman Beyond, and Justice League), the Joker was voiced by Mark Hamil.  You always get the sense he's having fun with the role, but I'm not sure he ever had THIS much fun again.  There's a spastic intensity, a cruel joy, in his laugh that's kind of infectious. As a whole, the episode's pace is a little off, but that's a lot of what gives this its charm: there's room for a lot of bizarre Joker moments they wouldn't spend time on later; it's a fantastic exploration of his character (though they'd refine and improve that character over time, giving him more complexity than he showed here). In par

Okay, I love window displays.  Macy's windows, by the way, are highly overrated.  Check out Fifth Avenue in Manhattan for some of the best displays.  I recently took a walk up Fifth Avenue, starting at around 48th street (just beside Rockefeller Plaza) and heading uptown.   These first windows are from Saks Fifth Avenue. It starts with a little girl and a cabinet.  There's some text somewhere about how her fantasies create the rest of the windows.  It's like Labyrinth crossed with high fashion. The cabinet opens, and there's a model inside! This makes sense so far, right?

This one isn't an official release: instead, it was put together as a fan video and released on YouTube. At thirteen minutes, it's pretty substantial, and the production values are pretty solid, all things considered. I've never read the comic this was based on, but it's a pretty safe bet they adapted it more or less faithfully. This is more or less exactly what it should be. I'm not really sure that's a good thing, though. Whether or not you should press play comes down to whether you like Lobo. Personally... I don't, at least not when he's the protagonist. As a supporting character, he can be a lot of fun, but on his own, I find the attempt to shock and repulse me kind of tedious. That said, I can understand the appeal of twisted humor. If you're a fan of the character, you'll want to check this out: it's probably the closest thing you'll get to a movie for a long, long time. If you don't know who Lobo is or what I'

I liked this quite a bit. It's been quite a while since I'd seen it, although a lot of it came back to me as I watched. In case you are very young and deprived, this special is a sweet retelling of Christmas Carol starring all Disney characters. The animation is beautiful and detailed, the one song is pleasant and uplifting. The adaptation has to sprint through the plot to get to the end in half an hour, but it hits all the pertinent bits. I appreciate that they "cast" established characters in the roles of the ghosts, as well as all the others. That was something I felt was a poor misstep in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Scrooge definitely makes the special work, and he doesn't need any extra narration to keep viewers interested.  This Scrooge is short-sighted and greedy, but never evil.  His completely manic glee upon his transformation is an absolute joy. Of course, Scrooge McDuck playing Ebenezer Scrooge is hardly a stretch for the character. All of th

I knew a little of what we were getting into with this one.  I knew that this episode had won an Emmy, and I'd seen a bit of it online when I was making lists of specials to track down. Even I didn't expect it to be this good, though. From a reworked holiday-specific title sequence through to the last joke, this is a great episode.  Not quite 100% pitch perfect, but one of the best we've seen yet. I don't want to give too much away, but Brain's current plan involves conning Santa's elves into making large numbers of hypnotic dolls.  There are one or two awkward jokes, but the climax makes up for it.  One part made even my Grinchy heart melt a little. Check this one out if you can.  I think you'll be glad you did.

I saw this about eight years ago on Cartoon Network, and I never forgot it.  When we were listing specials we had to track down, this was high on my list.  Very high, in fact. Why?  Is it good?  Of course not: little - if anything - about the Smurfs is deserving of that title.  No, it's not good.  But I'll be damned if it isn't gloriously and hilariously bad. This is one of those specials you need to see to believe.  You see, it's Christmastime in Smurf village, some kids are lost when their sleigh overturns, and Gargamel is up to his old tricks.  Then the devil shows up. Oh, they never call him that, and he doesn't look like the devil: he looks like a Snidely Whiplash in a cape.  But he's the devil, complete with infernal power, contracts, and rules limiting his actions.  And he's kind of scary. And what have the Smurfs to contend with cosmic evil?  A song.  Not just any song: they have what's easily the most grating, obnoxious, and

You know, if it weren't for Halloween's pending lawsuit for custody, I think I could just proclaim this the best Christmas movie of the past fifty years and be done with it. As it is, I'm pretty sure this is the only full length movie in color I'll be seeing this season I like more than Elf.* I find it interesting that both this and Elf share the same inspiration: both movies are set in worlds extrapolated from Rankin/Bass Christmas specials, and both take those settings surprisingly seriously. While Nightmare Before Christmas and Elf couldn't really be described as being in continuity with each other, either could easily be imagined in continuity with Rudoph. At any rate, there's a long list of reasons for why Nightmare has become the classic it has. In addition to its ties to existing classics, it's brilliantly designed, beautifully animated, and the music is amazing. I'm always a little surprised by just how much of the movie is devoted to s

A Celtic Celebration Steve Schuch and The Night Heron Consort With all the holiday music we've been listening to, the time is right to tell you about one of my favorite holiday albums. This is a CD I've had for about as long as I've had CDs and the music (now MP3s of course) goes into my rotation every year. It's an instrumental CD with a great style. All the songs have very strong "vocal" lines done on various instruments, like the penny whistle or the fiddle.  The number of instruments used is impressive, and includes a huge amount of unique percussion.  (The liner notes say: Traditional Christmas Songs played on fiddle, whistles, guitar, harp, pipes and more. )  They use the tone of each instrument to bring out different parts of each song.  The verses build upward in most of the tracks, providing an arc sometimes missing when carols are done without words.  It's very effective, and the intricate counterpoints and unique arrangements add an enorm

Is anyone surprised that Robot Santa was made by Japan?  Anyone? Thanks to Gwynne for drawing our attention to this robot monstrosity.

Here are some of the earliest window decorations I saw this year.   Up and active more than a week before Thanksgiving, here are some selections from the animatronic windows at Lord & Taylor in Manhattan. Overall they aren't bad, kind of classic looking.  They remind me of the displays I used to love as a child.  As such, though, they are a little boring.

Hooray!  Now I'm in the Halloween spirit.  Uh, Christmas spirit, Christmas spirit, that's what I said, right? Seriously, the scene in which Jack discovers Christmas Town I find to be one of the most holiday-cheer inducing scenes on film.  I get a big stupid grin on my face just listening to the song. It's a modern classic.  The animation is outstanding, the writing brilliant, the music amazing, the story inspired.  I have basically no complaints. I really sympathize with Jack. He discovers this wonderful thing that makes him feel warm and happy, and he starts out by trying to share it with his friends.  Everything spirals out of control, but it starts with a both selfish and unselfish instinct: Jack wants to have Christmas for himself because it makes him feel good, and he wants to share it, so his friends can feel it too. It doesn't work out, because despite their best efforts, the residents of Halloween Town just don't understand the whole "spreadin

You know how you've never heard of the 1985 For Better or For Worse Christmas special? Yeah, there's a reason for that. Now, first I want to make a couple quick disclaimers. I've never followed the comic strip this is based on, and don't know any more about it beyond what I've gleamed over the years from news reports and skimming the Wikipedia article. From what I can tell, the comic incorporated some brilliant, long-term storytelling techniques and was probably massively influential, bla, bla, bla. The special wasn't actually bad. It was just... simple. Direct. As inoffensive as it was unfunny. You know something? I'd have preferred outright bad. Really bad specials are still fun. They hold my attention and move along at a clip. Before I know it, they're over, and I'm laughing and thinking of all the interesting things I'm going to say about them. But this... this was just boring. It wasn't sweet or endearing, regardless

The Worst Gift By: Erin Snyder Edwin Thorester had given up on ever finding the best gift, or even a good gift, for that matter, long before he stepped into the For Corners Gift Emporium.  The fact of the matter was simply that a “good gift” was an adult equivalent to Saint Nicholas; namely, that it existed in the heart, that many believed in its power, but no matter how much you were willing to delude yourself, it simply wasn't real. The problem, as he saw it, was that the alternative was a gift that was not memorable.  This was the one ideal he couldn’t bear to abandon.  He’d already purchased a dozen potential gifts.  A potential gift, as defined by Edwin Thorester, was similar to an actual gift, save that rather than being given, it resided in a state of rest.  More specifically, his potential gifts were resting in a large, cardboard box labeled, “X-Mas Decorations.”  One day, he swore, he would replace that box with a newer, better one, and label it “Christmas Gifts in Wa

Erin loves this movie.  I just 'like' it.  So I'm going to take a moment to talk about my specific problems with the film, and there will be spoilers.  If you want someone to inspire you with all the reasons to see the film, read Erin's take. I always like Elf more than I expect to and less than I feel like it deserves. On this viewing I tried to put my finger on what bothers me about it. The beginning is great, to be fair.  The sets, the costumes and the effects all combine to set this firmly in the world of the classic Rankin-Bass specials. Everything with the elves is pretty good. Much of the rest of the movie is funny or cute, and most parts work well. First you should know that I don't like Will Ferrell in almost anything.  I don't like his style of comedy; I don't like his line delivery.  I don't think he's awful in this (which is a step up) but in general he grates on me. But on this viewing I realized that more than anything else, m