Last Minute Gift Guide: 2018

Welcome to the Mainlining Christmas 2018 Last Minute Gift Guide! This year, we wanted to help those of you looking for last-minute gifts by suggesting a handful of unique presents that are virtually guaranteed to still be on the shelves right before Christmas! Let's jump in!

Christmas Noel Emoji Poop Decoration

Let's face facts, everything you're giving and receiving this year is, at its core, crap, but this particular gift is abnormally honest about that fact. Featuring absolutely no features or worthwhile qualities, this is literally and metaphorically precisely what it appears to be.

As a bonus, this looks as though it could be utilized as a tree-topper. I can't say for certain, though: I... uh... didn't really want to touch it and check.

Who to buy it for: The perfect gift for anyone who actually liked The Emoji Movie or thinks this is somehow clever in 2018.

Price: You can find this at Michaels Arts and Crafts for just $14 + whatever dignity you still possess. Better yet, if you play your cards right you can knock another 40% off using a coupon.

Internet Password Keeper

The Container Store offers a number of unique stocking stuffers, but this is easily the most intriguing. Designed to streamline access to online passwords, it puts your secrets right at your fingertips. Or, you know, anyone else's.

Its small size makes it perfectly suited to sit beside your desk at work or to tuck into your purse right beside your smartphone, from which it would be exceedingly easy to access your bank account, personal correspondence, and any other secure information you have.

Best of all, it advertises its purpose in shiny, metallic letters, eliminating any question as to what's stored inside.

Who to buy it for: A perfect gift for the forgetful friend who has everything, including a personalized T-shirt displaying their social security number.

Price: The Container Store has these for a mere $10 each. That said, you'll want to put some extra money aside, so you can pick up the tab the next time you have drinks together after the recipient is fired for violating their employer's security policy.

1-Up Arcade Machines

These video game machines take all the fun and excitement of a full-size arcade cabinet and shrink them down to a size too small for adult hands but still large enough to take up a substantial amount of space. Choose from titles like Street Fighter 2, Galaga, and Pac-Man: each unit comes a different game pre-installed.

But that's not all! You'll also get an extra game or so with each purchase, allowing you to play new and exciting games like Galaga 2, Joust, or another version of Street Fighter 2!

Plus, if you're not satisfied with the games you have, you can always buy more. And by "more," I mean more cabinets, because additional games can't be added to each unit.

Who to buy it for: This is perfect for the 6-to-12-year-old kid who's nostalgic for the video games of the 1980's and early 90's.

Price: At just $299 each, you can own a dedicated, four-foot-tall arcade cabinet capable of playing a couple games from the 1980's for no more than you'd pay for a new Nintendo Switch.