Mainlining Christmas

What is this? Night 17? Anyway, every day between the 1st and 25th this month, I'm giving you a new piece of fiction. It's a little series I like to call "25 Christmas Eves," and today I've got something particularly special for you: a piece called "Department of Letters." This one opens in a mail room, the day before Christmas.... By: Erin L. Snyder Iyla’s joints cracked like breaking ginger snaps when she stretched her fingers, but the sound was lost in the noise of grinding machines and rippling paper. She was tired - they all were - but the season was almost done. The shipment had come in a few hours earlier: it was a big one - always was on Christmas Eve - but it was also the last. She was a Letter Specialist, 3rd class, in the mail subsection of DLWL (Department of Letters and Wish List). She knew six languages, which was why she was still third class: the leads knew at least two dozen each, and it was rumored the director could read every

Hey, Christmas is even in the title! This totally counts! I love Nature. Even if you don’t, I recommend you watch the first part of this. It has one of my favorite scenes that has ever been on Nature or any other nature program, ever. It’s the part with the fox. I love it. I’m not going to tell you more. The rest of the program is great too. It follows animals searching for food and shelter in Yellowstone National Park in the dead of winter. Bison, elk, wolves, bears, birds, otters and humans all make appearances. I was actually surprised how much I liked following the photographer Tom Murphy as he showed how he camps out in the snow, both to get amazing photos and just because he loves the area. The scene with the people who came out with telescopes to look for wildlife on Christmas day was pretty fantastic as well. The narration tips over the edge into pretentious once or twice. By and large I’m willing to overlook silly narration in a good documentary, but the bit about the

My first angel project is complete! (Well, she technically needs a coat of sealant, but it hasn't been dry enough to take her outside to spray her.) And yes, she's not currently hiding her face, but her eyes are closed, and I liked the Weeping Angels best when they were about implied danger. I bought three shiny angels this year for nefarious purposes: Here's a closer shot of the one for this project: I bought it very cheap on sale at a craft store. First I gave her a decent sanding, but didn't go overboard, since the dust created by the resin she's made of couldn't be good to breathe in. She got sprayed down with plastic-friendly primer next. I could still see "Hope" a little too clearly on her banner, so a little Kneadatite epoxy putty took care of that: And all that was left to do was paint. I first painted her all over a sort of medium gray, and then just kept going over her, adding darker grays to the inset p

Unless you watch a lot of ABC, you most likely won't have heard of this ABC Family made-for-TV Christmas movie about "Nick Snowden," the new Santa Claus, going in search of a missing reindeer named "Buddy." It probably goes without saying, but you're not missing much. The movie moves at a snail's pace as it alternates between the two leads, Snowden and his love interest, Sandy (I swear I'm not making this up, folks). Sandy works at the zoo which wound up with Buddy, courtesy of the movie's villain, Buck. Nick Snowden is bumbling and ineffectual in his attempts to break Buddy out of the zoo, and in pretty much every other respect. He's got one "super power", which is the ability to turn mirrors into portals. I'm assuming this was an artifact of an early draft of the script which didn't include reindeer, since he really shouldn't need to travel around the world by sleigh if he can just teleport from home to home. It

If you're just joining us, every midnight between the 1st and 25th brings a new piece of genre fiction, always about Christmas Eve. This series is called 25 Christmas Eves, and we're on night 16. Today, I've got something especially Christmasy: a piece of far-future military SF called, CHRISTMAS CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE! Enjoy. By: Erin L. Snyder Admiral Belle Samson stepped onto the lift, coffee in hand. A small, green holographic image of the Blitzen-6 appeared before her. The lift shaft was highlighted in red, and she motioned towards the bridge and braced her coffee as she began accelerating upward. “Would the admiral like to view Captain Yuleson’s report on the status of the Spruce Queen?” The computer’s voice was clear and brisk, as always. “No. No thank you,” Samson said, blowing on her coffee. She then removed a flask from her coat pocket and added a modest amount of Irish Cream. A light blinked while she put the flask away. “Notice. It is against regulations f

A few years ago, I looked at Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire , the series' pilot/Christmas special. It held up incredibly well. But while that was the first, the series has certainly racked up some additional Christmas episodes in its twenty-four seasons on the air. The two I'm looking at today were included on a DVD called "The Simpsons Christmas," along with the pilot and two others which really shouldn't count as Christmas episodes at all. But the DVD was released in 2003, back when they only had a handful of actual holiday episodes to choose from. First up, we've got "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace," from season nine. I remember those years: we used to debate whether it was time for the show to wrap up. It seems almost quaint now. At any rate, Bart accidentally destroys the family's presents and Christmas tree, hides the evidence, and blames their disappearance on a burglar. While the plot meanders from there, the jokes are solid and th

We got a tip (thanks, Mom!) that this new special was going to be airing on network TV, so we sat down to check it out. Now, I’m only passing familiar with Spongebob, although that’s more than Erin is. My takeaway from this is mostly that I respect the attempt, but don’t think it fully came together. Maybe it’s funnier if you know the show better. This episode was entirely filmed in stop-motion, and the effort is appreciated, although it’s not an unusual choice these days when one wants to evoke the feeling of Christmas specials past. (See Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas for a better example.) However, I’m not sure all the character designs really make sense in three dimensions, particularly when they tried to replicate some visual tropes of the usual animation. The sets were neat, though, and while I didn’t ever think the voices completely matched the fuzzy little dolls, the aesthetic of the thing overall was kind of cool. The story follows the villain Plankton trying to get