Mainlining Christmas

London, 1894 There was a breeze through the door as Timothy slammed it shut and made his way through the foyer. He walked slowly, with intent, never letting his weak leg drag behind, but forcing it in a natural arc. He was old but was no cripple, nor had he a stomach for pity. A man once called Timothy lame, thinking him out of earshot, and received a kick to his shin so hard he limped for a week. Timothy fared worse: the kick left him off his feet three days, and it had been a month before he could move naturally once more, but the message had been sent. Timothy sneered at his wife’s portrait, hung over the fireplace. She’d commissioned the painting herself, a gift from some long-ago Christmas. That she’d commissioned it with his money would have meant nothing to her. Never had a woman more accustomed to comfort and wealth walked the Earth. She’d never known a cold winter’s night, a barren stove, an empty plate. She’d never known disease that went untreated, never a Christmas mo

What an odd film. I think I enjoyed it, although it certainly had its share of boring, slow, and inexplicable bits. The Lemon Drop Kid is a holiday film starring Bob Hope based loosely on a Damon Runyon story. It's mostly notable for being the source of the song “Silver Bells”. I've read some Runyon stories, and find them fascinating. His work is the inspiration for Guys and Dolls, and The Lemon Drop Kid plays off similar tropes: gangsters both fierce and puppyish, money owed, bets, strong-minded dames, and tangled schemes. The Lemon Drop Kid is closer to the tone of the original stories than Guys and Dolls; it's more bloody-minded, though not by too much. The central plot follows con-man Kid (Hope) as he tries to raise ten thousand dollars he owes to a murderous mobster named Moose Moran. The scheme he finally hits on involves establishing a charity for elderly women so he can get a license to collect on the street, then conning a bunch of soft-hearted grif

A 'supportive' friend gave us a ton of random holiday music, compiled from who knows where, near the end of last year's Mainlining project. Much of it was unique, or terrible, or - like this - both. So, uh, "Thanks", I guess. This is one of the weirdest, most nonsensical things I've ever listened to. The fact that this even exists blows my logic circuits, so to speak. Okay, lets start off by saying that all of these songs are awful. I could have written better Star Wars Christmas songs as age six. Because even at six I was reluctant to make rhymes just by repeating the same words over and over again. Also I feel bad for Anthony Daniels, the only voice actor with the misfortune to be involved with this. Maybe he really got a bad deal in his initial contract? It seems like he did a lot of these sorts of odd appearances. This is also horrible because it even dispenses with the Life Day cover story, and just decides that droids make presents for Santa, an

There is, inside of me, a swell of rage and hatred, and it's all thanks to the 2009 CG production, "Yes, Virginia." Now first off, I want to acknowledge what's good about the special. And, as much as I hate to admit it, there's a quite a list. The animation looks good, the designs are generally inspired, the dialogue was competently written, and the voice acting - featuring both Doctors Horrible and Octopus - was pretty solid. So why then does this special make me angrier than anything else I've seen this year? Because of what it is, what it does, and why it exists. I appreciate that most Christmas specials are designed to make money - hell, it's part of what I love about the holidays - but generally those specials are direct in their strategy. A special's produced and sold to a network, advertising revenue changes hands, and on the back-end maybe DVDs are produced. It might not be charitable, but at least there's something honest about the s

One of my very favorite holiday displays in the city is the light-up stars at Columbus Circle. This set-up is in the atrium of the shops that take up the first three floors of the Time Warner Center.  The stars themselves are impressive constructions of frosted plastic, metal and electronics. They are each fourteen feet tall, and are suspended from the ceiling by heavy cables. Each panel can light up different colors, the edges have more tiny LEDs, and there are bulbs that can throw out a flash or strobe at the tip of each point.  Through most of the day, the stars gently shift in color every minute or two. In the evening, it's a bit different. See below for more pictures, and video. I think the effect has been better in years past; it's more suited to orchestral work than jazz, but it's still pretty impressive.

One of the things I like most about The Twilight Zone is how earnestly everyone plays their lines. It can verge on melodrama, but in this context it just causes me to completely accept the reality of the characters' experience. This is a particularly sweet and fuzzy episode for this series. The episode follows Henry Corwin, a drunken Department Store Santa who wishes that he could see some actual kindness and giving for the season. He gets fired from his job, then finds a sack that seems to contain an unlimited supply of Christmas presents. He proceeds to grant wishes for the poor and downtrodden, and anyone else he meets. He runs briefly afoul of the law in a very funny scene, but there's not really much suspense to be had here. I could have used a slightly less corny or more ambiguous ending, but this tale of a poor man getting his wish to make others happy activated my holiday warmth centers. Go in aware that it's pretty straightforward - just a short exercise

I'm more of a fan of British Sitcoms than Erin is; I watched them a lot on PBS when I was in high school, and again when I worked nights when we lived in DC. However, I, uh, wouldn't start with either of these episodes. Keeping Up Appearances , in case you don't know, is a comedy of manners and class about a woman (Hyacinth Bucket) born to a lower-class family, now living a middle-class lifestyle while reaching for upper-class respectability. She, of course, constantly postures and overreaches herself, and annoys those around her to no end. I rather like how indefatigable she is, though. The Father Christmas Suit (called A Very Merry Hyacinth in US release) is a highly farcical episode, that definitely relies on the viewers knowledge of the characters prior relationships for its humor. As seemingly simple a thing as handing out presents in a church charity drive becomes a fiasco when Hyacinth decides just how it has to be perfect. It isn't a great episode, thou