Mainlining Christmas

In terms of holiday credentials, "Catch Me if You Can" is appropriately evasive. In a real sense, it both is and is not a Christmas movie: it leverages the holidays in interesting ways and returns to them throughout the movie, but the holidays don't shape the the tone, narrative, or theme the way they might in a romantic comedy or drama with a similar structure. They're a supporting player here and they clearly serve a purpose, but they're not the core of the movie, nor do they occupy the bulk of its runtime. But we'll get to that. First, this is based on the (allegedly) true story of Frank Abagnale, Jr., a conman and forger who wrote a popular (and suspect) autobiography about his life. But true or not, it makes for a gripping, funny, engaging adventure in the hands of one of the best directors of all time. Apparently 1941 didn't sour Steven Spielberg on Christmas forever, so here we are. The movie is driven forward by the various cons and tricks Frank (...

Until I saw some online discussion surrounding this recently, I hadn't realized it was an adaptation of A Christmas Carol. I'd never seen the movie and have no memory of the trailers - if I ever thought about the movie, I must have assumed it was a fairly typical romantic comedy with supernatural elements. Hell, until we expanded our purview five or so years ago, we wouldn't have considered this worth reviewing the blog at all (it explicitly is not  set at Christmas). But the Dickens connection here is significant and worth exploring, and - for better and worse - this is an interesting movie. It's also surprising in a number of respects. This is a far more faithful retelling of A Christmas Carol than I'd ever have expected given the premise. It incorporates elements of the story and characters, mostly in clever and subtle ways (though I could have done without the "What day is it" callback gag near the end). That's the "better" side of the ...

I mean, I put it on, so I really don't have anyone to blame but myself. Bikini Bloodbath Christmas is the third movie in the Bikini Bloodbath series, an extremely low budget horror/comedy franchise I'm guessing was not intended to be watched or considered critically (or sober, for that matter). I don't even mean that as a slight - this is the sort of thing that's mainly just in-jokes and over-the-top sequences parodying mainstream entertainment. It's not pretending it's anything other than bad, which is a good thing because - make no mistake - it is bad. I should probably add I haven't seen the first two installments, nor do I intend to. This stuff isn't for me. I'm not sure it's for much of anyone anymore, given how dated the references feel, but that's another matter. I'll do my best to offer a synopsis, but I'm not sure there's much to say. Part of the joke is there's really not a lot of story here, and what is present inte...

You'll generally only see this marketed in the US under the title, "A Christmas Tale", which seems be an accurate translation, with the caveat "Cuento de Navidad" is also how "A Christmas Carol" is often translated into Spanish. The other part of the full title, "Películas para no dormir," is the series it's from, consisting of six Spanish TV horror movies originally airing in 2005. That's... actually the short  version: if I'm understanding right, they were sort of a revival for a television series called "Historias para no dormir" which was produced sporadically from the late 60s to early 80s, but let's just focus on what's at hand. I don't believe any of the other five films in the 2005 series were set at Christmas, though I'm tempted to watch to find out. Because "A Christmas Tale" (or whatever you want to call it) is absolutely phenomenal. There's no "graded on a curve" or ...

It's not hard to see why this thriller was forgotten despite starring Kim Basinger as a suburban housewife being hunted by murderers in the woods on a rainy Christmas Eve in what could have been sold as an R-rated, feminist response to Home Alone, had the movie been good enough to capitalize on any of that. The last few minutes, for what it's worth, are actually pretty good and provide something of an demonstration of what the movie as a whole was going for. This wants to be a sort of modern parable, meant to be experienced viscerally, rather than considered rationally. If it were being made today, the last decade of horror would offer a template for managing this effect. Unfortunately, it was made in 2008, and as such mostly leverages the cinematic language of suspense from that era. The story here is bare bones. Della is a housewife with two kids she loves, an abusive husband she does not, and an immense amount of anxiety and regret. After a harrowing encounter with said husb...

I'd say this low-budget sci-fi/horror flick was surprisingly good, but the truth is I chose it among a list of other low-budget Christmas movies because it had an unusually good reputation. Despite having the hallmarks of a small production - contained setting, small cast, mostly shot in the dark - this one manages to deliver a solid survivalist horror movie. The caveat to that is Alien Raiders doesn't deliver anything on top of this: the movie is a good entry in the genre, but it's not subverting, advancing, or transforming that genre in any way. If you've seen movies like this before (and if you're watching something called Alien Raiders, you almost certainly have), you also know the plot beats, premise, and twists. I'm not trying to take anything away from this movie or what first-time director Ben Rock was able to accomplish. Low-budget horror flicks are dime-a-dozen, and they're almost never handled with anywhere near this level of skill. This practical...

30 Days of Night is a high-concept vampire survival movie with the gimmick of being set in a town so far north a single winter night lasts for thirty days. That last part is real, or at least real enough: the closer you get to the North Pole, the longer winter nights become (the North Pole itself has one night and one day a year, a detail I wish more movies about Santa would incorporate). The town where this is set is also real - it's the northernmost location in Alaska, now called Utqiagvik, though it went by Barrow in 2007 when this movie was made. I should note that 30 Days of Night never mentions Christmas, nor are there any major holiday decorations (there are some white string lights early on, but it's not clear whether these are meant to reference Christmas or simply decorative). In short, there's nothing in the dialogue or on screen suggesting this is set at or about Christmas in any way. So why am I talking about it? The answer, of course, is built into the premise...

This is, for better or worse (mostly worse), very much a product of its time, landing around the end of the X-Files, which this borrows from heavily. Elements also feel similar to Donnie Darko, though I'm skeptical this would have had the time or inclination to replicate anything about that film, which had bombed at the box office. Of course, all of this stuff is drawing inspiration from the work of David Lynch - some editing and effects choices in The Mothman Prophecies seem to be directly referencing Twin Peaks. Oh, and it's also based on a book I haven't read. The book purports to be non-fiction, with the caveat this stuff tends to strain the definition of that categorization. This is, after all, a story about extra-dimensional aliens prophesizing future catastrophes that cannot be prevented. Whether or not you believe that's possible, I assume anyone reading this is intelligent enough to have figured out by now the media built up around it is almost universally crea...

Lindsay and I wound up seeing this because our daughter has become fixated on Winne the Pooh. I believe we've now watched or re-watched all of the animated movies at least once; most more than that. Judging by her level of excitement while this was playing, I'm guessing we're going to watch this several more times, so I actually wanted to write it up before I become sick of the damn thing. "More sick" might be a more accurate description. Don't get me wrong: I'm a fan of the bear with very little brain and have been for a very long time. Hell, I used to wear a Winnie the Pooh pendant in college, and I'd take it out when asked about my religion. It was a joke, of course, but my affection for the character is genuine. I still love the original Disney shorts and the movie they were compiled into, and I was pleasantly surprised to find The Tigger Movie - something I'd last seen in theaters - holds up. The 2011 movie is pretty great, too. But as we'...

Even the title of this animated movie is difficult to unravel. This was a Finnish production, but it was animated in English before being released with several different titles, including at least two English titles depending on which country you were in. "The Flight Before Christmas" is the title for the US release, the far superior "Niko & The Way to the Stars" is the title in other English-speaking markets, and "Niko – Lentäjän poika" (which translates to something like, "Niko: Flier's Son") is the Finnish title. And, as far as I can tell, none of these are any more or less official than the others. Despite a strong preference for "The Way of the Stars," I'm going with the US title, since that's how this is primarily listed in the US. Adding complications, there are a few different versions of this floating around, because at some point this was also cut down to 45 minutes and shown on TV. For better or worse, we watc...

Okay, we'll start with the world's silliest spoiler warning, because this Christmas ghost story  technically  has a twist ending, but you probably already know what it is. No, really, regardless of whether you've even heard of this, without knowing the premise or anything about it aside from the fact it's got ghosts in it and it was made in 2003, the thing you're expecting is the thing it does, to the point I'm honestly unsure whether it was even intended as an actual twist, a meta-commentary on how common those became following the success of The Sixth Sense, or even a gimmick to ensure every single person in the audience gets an endorphin rush as their suspicions are confirmed. But, again, structurally the movie ends with a twist reveal and the bulk of the film is executed quite well, so... if you want to be surprised when it's revealed the near-collision at the start of the movie was actually a crash which killed all but one of the main characters, I reco...