Mainlining Christmas

Bridget Jones's Diary appears on a fair number of lists of Christmas and New Year's movies, usually with the caveat that most of the movie doesn't take place on the holiday, which is probably why we glossed over it for as long as we did. But now that we're exploring less restrictive definitions of "Christmas movie," I thought it was time to give this a watch, which led to a couple surprising revelations. First, while only a fraction of the movie is set over the holidays, this would have applied under even our stricter criteria, as its thematic use of those celebrations (particularly New Year's) permeates the entire film. But second and more important is that this movie absolutely fucking rules. I'll be honest - I hadn't expected that. I'm not sure why I assumed it wouldn't, but I suspect it has something to do with the trailer (I just looked it up on YouTube, and it certainly isn't doing the movie any favors). But the film itself is hil...

Big Business is a 19-minute long Laurel and Hardy short film in which they play Christmas tree salesmen who get in a destructive fight with an angry potential customer.  The holiday elements are fairly light here - aside from a joke or two at the beginning and end, the fact they're selling Christmas trees as opposed to literally anything else is irrelevant to the story or comedy. But it's still technically set at Christmas, so let's take a look. The plot here is simplistic. Laurel and Hardy visit a couple houses without luck before reaching the home where things go off the rails. It starts with the tree (then Hardy's coat) getting repeatedly stuck in the door, requiring them to ring the doorbell, which further annoys the home's owner. The silent picture format is useful for smoothing over the obvious plot contrivance: it's easier to avoid confronting why they're unable to explain the misunderstanding when no one's actually able to speak outside the occas...

Well, I probably shouldn't be reviewing this. First, a little background. Or in this case, lack thereof, because that's sort of the problem. I put this on having no clue what it was after seeing it on a list of science fiction films on Criterion. I'd seen virtually everything else on the list, but I'd never even heard of 2046, so I trusted it would be at least interesting and pressed play. The short version is that it is interesting, it is not  science fiction, but it was (surprisingly) a Christmas movie. Well, sort of a Christmas movie. I'll get to that. Also, it's not entirely not science fiction. I'll get to that, too. But first I want to highlight another aspect I wasn't ready for: it's the third movie in a trilogy. Sort of. I'm... not really going to get around to explaining that, because I'm still a little unclear on the details. Okay, my understanding is the main character of this appears in an earlier movie, and a minor character from...

This is either the third or fourth adaptation we've covered of the classic western Christmas novel, The Three Godfathers, depending on whether you consider the 2003 anime Tokyo Godfathers  adapted from or inspired by the original. Of the relatively straightforward versions, the 1929 version, Hell's Heroes , by William Wyler remains my favorite, while the 1948  3 Godfathers  starring John Wayne, is my least favorite, and this one - directed by Richard Boleslawski - lands somewhere in the middle. Well, the middle leaning closer to Hell's Heroes, if I'm being specific. Unlike the 1948 movie, this one doesn't pull its punches in the second and third acts, or the first as far as the bank robbery is concerned. I know the John Wayne version has its fans, but this is one of those stories I don't like watered down (unless, I suppose, the water in question is poisoned). The rough outline is basically the same as the earlier version and source material: three outlaws find ...

This thirteen-minute film doesn't offer much of interest, but it's unusual in one respect: it was posted by the National Archive, which also took the time to provide some information on the movie's history and production . Context tends to be elusive when it comes to silent films, so it's nice to actually get a little insight into where this came from. This was produced by the Ford Motor Company, of all things. Apparently, they had a fairly substantial film division at the time. To clarify, while it's produced by Ford, it doesn't include any kind of tie-in, commercial, or product placement. There are no motorized vehicles in this at all. The film itself is kind of simple. Honestly, it's closer to what I'd expect from the first decade of that century, not the third: there's no real story, no visual effects or tricks, and the selling point here feels largely centered on the notion that seeing moving images will be exciting in and of itself. The movie f...

Not for the first time, I find myself writing up a movie from the 1930s that's smarter, funnier, and frankly more progressive than virtually any I've encountered from the '40s, '50s, '60s, '70s... honestly, I'm not even sure where the cutoff here is. Almost everything in Bachelor Mother holds up more than eighty years after it was produced. Apparently, this is a remake of a 1935 Austrian-Hungarian film called Kleine Mutti (Little Mother). I found versions of the original on Youtube, but unfortunately none that are subtitled, so I haven't been able to determine just how close the Hollywood version sticks to the original, including whether the holiday setting was carried over or added in the remake. As always, I'd be grateful to anyone who wants to shed some light in the comment section. Regardless, Bachelor Mother is a romantic comedy starring Ginger Rogers as Polly, a department store clerk losing her job on Christmas Eve due to usual seasonal cuts. ...

The Matzah Ball Jean Meltzer, 2021 To start with, the premise of this book has a lot of holes in it. Rachel grew up in a close-knit Jewish community, but she secretly loves all the trappings of Christmas, and is, in fact, secretly a highly successful Christmas romance author. Her childhood frenemy-turned-love-turned-enemy Jacob is now a wealthy entrepreneur who throws expensive events for a living, and he's going to be back in town to manage the biggest Hannukah event ever. Rachel's publishers want her to be more "authentic" and ask her to write a Hannukah romance. She despairs because "there's nothing magic about Hannukah" but decides the only way to get the inspiration she needs is to get to that sold-out party. Cue misunderstandings, arguments, romantic tension, etc. Just two of the questions this raises: 1) some Jewish folks care an awful lot about not giving in to the red-and-green juggernaut called American culture in December, and some don't. ...