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Showing posts with the label Horror

Werewolf Santa (2023)

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Similar to Two Front Teeth , Werewolf Santa is a (very) low budget comedy/horror production with a premise designed to attract attention. And also similar to Two Front Teeth, this doesn't manage to overcome its limitations, making it more of an oddity than a "real" movie. Despite a handful of elements deserving praise, this isn't worth tracking down unless you're a huge fan of ultra low budget, tongue-in-cheek genre flicks. That's a long way of saying it's not bad for what it is, but what it is, ultimately, is already kind of bad. That being said, I want to acknowledge that this is absolutely a case where I was not watching the movie the way it was almost certainly intended to be watched, which in this case means "high." The movie lampshades this in the opening minutes and later uses marijuana as either a plot point or a throwaway joke, depending on how generous you're feeling (Were-Santa consumes edibles early on, which give him the munchies...

El día de la bestia [The Day of the Beast] (1995)

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Another in a long line of movies I'm gobsmacked I never knew existed until now, The Day of the Beast is a Spanish horror/comedy from director Álex de la Iglesia about a Catholic priest attempting to prevent the apocalypse by committing enough sins and spreading enough evil that he tricks the devil into buying his soul and revealing the birthplace of the anti-Christ. A premise this absurd is of course going to rest on style and tone - fortunately, de la Iglesia is up to the task, and the resulting film is compelling and darkly funny. Where it comes up a bit short is the ending, which feels like it's missing a beat. But more on that when we come to it. The movie starts on December 22nd with Angel (the aforementioned priest, played by Álex Angulo) bringing his discovery to a fellow clergyman, who agrees to help him in his quest to prevent the end of the world. Unfortunately, that guy dies immediately after when a comically large cross falls over and crushes him; the first of many ...

Book Review: The Kingdom of Sweets

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Book Review: The Kingdom of Sweets Erika Johansen, 2023 This year, I'm looking at a handful of interesting retellings of holiday classics, starting with this very different take on the Nutcracker.  Premise: A party. A magical toy from a mysterious man. A trip to a wondrous land of sweets. Plus betrayal, torture, and death. Not a story for kids. So I have to admit that I was annoyed fairly early on in this book because it's a dark fantasy based on the Nutcracker, only it's about Clara's goth sister, and yet her name is NOT Marie. I mean, the idea of there being two girls was right there!  But no, the goth bluestocking sister is called Natasha. Natasha and Clara are twins, but Nat was supposedly cursed at their christening by Drosslemeyer, while Clara was blessed. Clara grew up beautiful and sweet, but a bit vapid, while Nat is spiky and awkward and reads books and learns the servants' names.  I was worried early on that the book would lean too hard in her being ...

The Sacrifice Game (2023)

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We're going to start this off with a combination spoiler and content warning, because I absolutely loved this movie, it's packed with twists and surprises you're better off not knowing about, and it's also got some extremely disturbing sequences some of you probably are better off being aware of before deciding whether to see it. If gore and violence are dealbreakers for you, this might be worth avoiding, or at the very least holding off until someone who knows your precise limits can advise you on whether it's worth proceeding. However, if you're able to handle a handful of brutal moments, the payoffs here are plentiful, and - again - better if you don't know what's coming. So if you enjoy horror, dark fantasy, or anything of the sort, please stop reading now if that warning didn't scare you off. This is one of the rare incidences where it actually matters. The Sacrifice Game is sort of a nesting doll of genres, twists, and ideas. It lets you in on ...

The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

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Assuming I'm counting right, Christmas takes up between three and four minutes of screentime in this 1961 Hammer horror film, which tells you two things off the bat. First, this isn't a Christmas movie. And second, something about those three-to-four minutes must be pretty damn interesting if I'm writing about it here (particularly because this isn't one of the studio's better regarded films). Before we get into any of that, let's tackle the most pressing question for most of you: should you bother watching this? The answer, as is often the case, depends. The Curse of the Werewolf has a number of factors in its favor, including some gorgeous, colorful cinematography, an updated take on the wolf man popularized by Universal a few decades earlier, bits of authentic folklore (including that Christmas bit we'll be getting back to), and some impressive makeup and visual effects. At the same time, the movie's structure meanders more than it should, the Spanish...

The Night of the Hunter (1955)

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When I first watched this a few years ago, I came to two conclusions: first, that it wasn't really what I'd consider a Christmas movie, and second that it was a goddamn masterpiece. That second point isn't exactly a new observation, even if audiences and critics weren't ready for Charles Laughton's visionary work of horror when it came out. The Night of the Hunter may have been a flop in 1955, but these days any list of "the greatest movies ever made" that doesn't include it is liable to face criticism of its own. I'll touch on why it's become so well regarded, but first let's tackle the thornier issue: whether the film's admittedly brief holiday sequence qualifies it for discussion here. The sequence in question occurs at the very end of the movie following a time jump - prior to that, the film seems to be set in the summer, though the precise date is left nebulous. It's a relatively brief sequence serving as a sort of coda to the ...

Cronos (1992)

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I first saw this ten or fifteen years ago while exploring Guillermo del Toro's filmography.  Filmed in a combination of English and Spanish, Cronos is his first film. I recall thinking it was good but being a little underwhelmed at the time, particularly compared to his follow-up, The Devil's Backbone. If I noticed this was set at New Year's, I forgot it soon after. While this didn't leave much of an impression on me then, it absolutely did now. I think I was expecting a more typical vampire story, and as a result wasn't ready to fully appreciate the more subdued, thoughtful film del Toro delivered, which is more a fairytale assembled out of deconstructed horror elements than the usual superpowered monsters. In my defense, understated genre films were more common in the '90s and early '00s, so something like this stood out less then than it does in 2023. Regardless, this is fantastic, which means it's time for a mandatory spoiler warning. If you're a...

Black Christmas (1974) [Revisited]

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I originally saw and "reviewed"  Black Christmas back in 2010 , and if you're wondering why "review" is in quotation marks, go ahead and click on the link. For what it's worth, we weren't exactly trying to write actual reviews in those days - this all started out as sort of a novelty Christmas blog where the gag was we were binging as much holiday stuff as possible and writing about the experience. Sharing our discomfort as we sat through genres we didn't enjoy was all part of the fun. Or so we hoped. But over the years this site has evolved, as have my taste in movies and my knowledge of the history of Christmas media. Even back then, we knew Black Christmas was important (which is why we included it that first year). And as I've encountered various think pieces exploring the film , it became clear I really needed to revisit it. Having rewatched it, I still wouldn't say I enjoyed the experience, but it's far more nuanced and interesting ...

The Children (2008)

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Well, this one's going to be hard as hell to rate. On a technical level, The Children is an extremely impressive movie. It's well-shot with atmospheric visuals, effective jump scares, and a really unnerving premise. The central conceit, that children turn on adults, is executed so convincingly I'm honestly unsure whether to credit the film's editing or the performances of the young actors for selling the kids as terrifying, deadly, and remorseless. And if reading the last paragraph made you a little sick to your stomach, you may already have an inkling of the "but" coming up. Just because you can show something in a movie doesn't necessarily mean you should. I kind of feel like I just watched a new form of exploitation being invented. Okay, "new" is an overstatement, and not just because the actors playing The Children's young antagonists are now old enough they might have kids of their own. While the details of the premise have changed, the...

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

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Aside from knowing the basic premise, quite literally every expectation and assumption I had going into this movie about an animatronic store Santa malfunctioning and going on a murder spree turned out to be dead wrong. Fortunately, one of those assumptions was that I probably wouldn't like it all that much, and... Okay, let's do the spoiler warning right off the bat, because this is one I'm absolutely recommending to fans of horror, who might want to experience it without realizing what they're getting into. I was about to say that recommendation only  applies to horror fans, as the movie's content is decidedly R-rated (both in terms of sex and violence), but this isn't exactly my go-to genre and I loved it despite... well... it gets pretty gruesome at times, even if the gore has an intentionally anachronistic look.  (Editor's note: this is not a case where we are united in our opinion. I admit that I generally detest slashers, but this is no exception for ...