Mainlining Christmas

After watching Red Snow, I find myself a little surprised it's not better known, which is another way of saying I had a blast watching it. This is a horror/comedy vampire movie, and - honestly - that's about all I want to tell you before dropping a *spoiler warning* and advising those of you who like this sort of thing to check it out. Okay, I'll toss you a few more bones, in case you need more convincing. Or, in the case of those of you who are die-hard horror fans, perhaps a warning to temper your expectations. After all, this is a movie *I* really enjoyed, and - in case you've forgotten - I don't exactly have the best tolerance for scares, gore, and the like. Red Snow is absolutely the kind of R-rated horror movie that elicits complaints about not being gross or scary enough for a significant subset of the genre's fanbase. If that's a deal-breaker for you, you're probably better off skipping this. But for the rest of you, it's delightful. And, for...

This movie should be much better known. Repeat Performance is a holiday fantasy/noir from 1947 about a woman who just killed her husband in self-defense at midnight on New Year's, wishes to relive the past year to change her destiny, and finds her wish is granted by the magic of the season only to learn that while the paths of fate can be traversed differently, the destination will always be the same. I don't feel too bad spoiling this, because the movie kicks off with Twilight Zone-esque narration that more or less spells all this out. So, this is basically a post-war fatalism entry for the holidays. Again, why in hell am I only just hearing about this now?!!! Okay, I can probably shed a little light on that now. First, if you're not thinking about the thematic and historical significance the holidays lend the movie, it's easy to gloss over them, as well as how much of the movie is actually set during the season. Second, the movie has some pacing issues: it drags a bit...

On its most basic level, Cobra is an R-rated '80s action movie written by and starring Sylvester Stallone, but that doesn't begin to describe what makes it unusual or (with apologies for jumping right to the punchline) awful. Because at the end of the day, Cobra is bad, despite some impressive stunts and a genuine attempt to make something interesting. Let's back up. For a while, Stallone was looking to play Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop, a role that would eventually go to Eddie Murphy. Stallone, of course, had a very different vision for that movie's tone, which (coupled with the budget his vision would require) seems to be the main reason that version ultimately fell through. I have no idea if he perceived Cobra as some sort of proof of concept, or if he just had a bunch of ideas floating around his head as a result of working on the other project. Regardless, he pulled his ideas together, combined them with ideas borrowed from a novel called Fair Game (which the cr...

Dead of Night is a British horror anthology film with a strong frame story that shows up occasionally on lists of alternate holiday films. I first watched it a few years ago, and I'll tell you upfront I don't agree with that designation - only one of the five segments (six, if you count the frame, which you probably should) takes place at Christmas - which is why I didn't review it at the time. So why am I rewatching and reviewing now? Well, that's a little complicated. Over time, the purpose of this site has changed, as have the questions we've been exploring. We're no longer solely focused on Christmas media, but also the history of how that media evolved and the ways media and society look at the holiday. Occasionally, that means considering media that may have been pivotal in shaping future holiday entertainment. And, while Dead of Night isn't something I'd consider a Christmas movie, it was extremely influential. It's also a damn good classic ho...

Night of the Comet joins I Come in Peace and Trancers  on a list of low-budget cult Christmas science-fiction movies from the '80s and early '90s. All three flew under our radar for years, so I'm left wondering if there are more out there. Night of the Comet is unquestionably the best of those three, incidentally. I'm not sure I'd recommend this to someone who isn't a fan of genre (and perhaps more importantly genre history, as we'll get to in a moment), but any connoisseur of '50s drive-in fare, early zombie movies, or '70s post-apocalyptic films will find this well worth checking out. It's also notable for the impression it left on popular culture: it's been cited as an inspiration for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and while watching I saw ideas I'm fairly certain were borrowed for Cabin in the Woods and Zombieland, among others. All of which is to say this is a neat, clever film. Perhaps a bit too clever in some ways, honestly - its mashu...

This seems to be one of the most divisive Christmas movies to come along in a while - I've seen reactions ranging from declaring it an instant holiday horror classic to it landing on people's worst-of-year picks. My own opinion isn't anywhere near as extreme one way or the other, though after watching the movie... I can kind of see where both camps are coming from. This one's weird and quirky, with an interesting premise, great performances and characters, a visually iconic killer, some really effective moments, and notable representation for LGBTQ+ horror fans. At the same time, the pacing falls off a ledge in the second act (and never recovers), the fantasy elements are clumsily integrated, and the second half features a chain of bizarre twists that left me at a loss to determine what the movie was even trying to accomplish or say. Depending on what different viewers want out of this, I don't think it's unreasonable to excuse the stuff that doesn't work or...

I'm worried this is going to get lost in the shuffle because we're looking at so many silent movies this year. This one's a little different, though, both because it's an incredibly influential and important work and because the subject matter is probably going to resonate more with the sort of people I expect (or at least hope) read this blog. The Phantom Carriage is a silent Swedish horror/drama hybrid built around a New Year's Eve legend in which the last person to die before the stroke of midnight is cursed to drive Death's carriage through the following year, collecting souls. The term "folk horror" isn't generally applied to movies prior to the 1970s, but this certainly feels like a pretty good fit. You could argue it's the first film in that subgenre, and one of the first horror films in general, coming out a year after The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and a year before Nosferatu. Before anyone gets too excited, I should add a great deal of i...

Calling Two Front Teeth, a Christmas horror/comedy hybrid about a vampiric Santa and his elves, low budget is a bit of an understatement (or perhaps I should say overstatement, as I suspect the filmmakers had less money than even the phrase "low budget" usually implies). This is a micro-budget horror film that looks more like an ambitious student project than an independent production, the sort of movie produced by friends on nights and weekends. That, of course, makes it difficult to review, because barring a handful of miracles that launched careers with projects like these, films at this level are virtually incapable of competing with those made with actual resources. And since no one's talking about this the way they discuss El Mariachi or The Blair Witch Project, you already know it's not one of the exceptions. At the same time, there's a great deal to appreciate here, starting with that premise (credit where it's due - they beat me to the idea by six yea...

A few years ago, there's no way I'd have written this up here. That's not a strike against the movie - I liked this quite a bit - just an acknowledgment that it is absolutely not a Christmas movie. It is not set at Christmas, it does not reference Christmas (or any holiday, for that matter), and it is not about Christmas. However, the wintery setting and other elements (first and foremost the titular animal) resemble contemporary Christmas traditions and iconography. The movie also takes place in Lapland, a location with connections to the holidays, and folkloric winter horror has deep connections to the Christmas season, as well. In short, while this isn't a Christmas movie, the overlap with subgenres within the holiday film canon is substantial, and I suspect this will be of interest to readers of this blog. I know I'm stepping onto a slippery slope here, but I'm going to risk it to talk about this bizarre Finnish horror film about a woman who falls in love, g...

I paused this movie about three-fourths of the way through, checked the time stamp, and pumped my fists in the air as I confirmed it qualified under our guidelines as a holiday movie. In case that reaction wasn't clear enough, Mystery of the Wax Museum is getting a recommendation, which means it also gets a spoiler warning. I don't think knowing details about the premise, characters, or plot will significantly undermine the experience in this case, but - just in case - if you're a fan of movies from this era, horror/comedy/adventure hybrids, or really movies in general, this one's a blast. It's also an absolutely gorgeous film that will challenge most viewers' assumptions of what movies from the early '30s looked like. Utilizing the now largely forgotten two-color Technicolor process, the film is both beautiful and eerie. The color, coupled with clever lighting and set design, creates a world that's unreal, evoking the feel of looking at a wax sculpture ...