Mainlining Christmas

Wow, this movie has serious pace issues. It is slow slow slow.  It switches plot at least three times, and each new storyline is only tangentially related to the others. This makes the movie feel even longer than it is. The plots themselves don't make a ton of sense, and the tone is wildly inconsistent. The worst part is that every so often there's a sliver of a moment when it is almost a good movie.  You can see where it could have turned away from stupidity (by, say, not changing plots again, or by not making Dudley Moore suddenly the focus) and been something actually good.  Erin pointed out while we were watching it that every time it started to look serious or magical or otherwise interesting, in came the annoying repetitive cartoon music and the slapstick-prone elves. I should mention that these are some mighty unconvincing elves.  The height and behavior isn't consistent at all.  It also didn't help that all the toys the elves make look ridiculous, so whe

Growing up, I always hated He-Man.  Everything about the show repulsed me; I'm not entirely sure why.  I certainly liked other bad cartoons, but something about He-Man just felt wrong. Well, I'm older now, and am no longer disturbed by the program.  Actually, I really enjoyed the 2002 reboot .  Sorry - I'm getting off topic. The point is, The He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special wasn't part of my childhood.  The first time I saw it was at a Christmas party a few years back.  The second was last night on Hulu. Placed firmly in the "so bad it's good camp," I have to admit this is really entertaining.  I mean, yeah, it's awful.  Really, really awful.  But it's also hilarious. The story - to the extent the term applies - follows the misadventures of Orco, as he accidentally teleports a few children from Earth to Eternia.  The kids tell everyone about Christmas, which pisses off Horde-Prime, who seems to be the overlord of an evil empire. H

We found this episode on an old VHS tape while visiting Lindsay's family for Thanksgiving and popped it in.  I don't know about Lindsay, but I was expecting this to make me want to find something hard to bash my head against. But, much to my surprise, I wound up liking it quite a bit.  Lindsay described it as "charming," which I think wraps it up nicely.  While it's not about to become one of my all-time favorite specials, it was well worth the half-hour it took to watch. Sure, it was aimed at a young audience, but the jokes were well orchestrated.  The story had a decent number of twists and turns which, while simple enough for five year-olds to follow, didn't feel stupid or random . The music, which I'm assuming appears in every episode, complimented the children's book animation style.  What really made this stand out, was the depiction of Santa and his shop.  I haven't seen this take before, and it feels simultaneously origin

I never had cable growing up, so "A Disney Channel Christmas" isn't a special I'm familiar with.  Apparently, Disney has been re-cutting and adjusting this since 1958, when it was called "From All of Us to All of You."  The version I saw, expanded to a numbing hour and a half, was released in 1983 and titled "A Disney Channel Christmas." To today's viewers, most of this plays like an extended commercial for Disney DVDs.  It's easy to forget that most of the movies and clips featured wouldn't have been available for sale when this aired.  For a number of viewers, this would have served as an introduction to characters and movies they wouldn't see for years.  Now, the clips feel bizarre and esoteric.  Scenes from Pinocchio, Snow White, and Cinderella are included, despite the fact there's no discernible connection to the holidays or even winter. The shorts are far more interesting.  I particularly enjoyed "Donald's Sn

Man, I loved this when I was a kid. We had the Disney Channel when I was little, back when it was the channel that showed wall-to-wall old Disney Cartoons and "tween" programming wasn't yet a glimmer in a marketing director's eye. I watched all the Disney Channel Holiday Specials.  There was one for Christmas, and one for Halloween hosted by the Magic Mirror from Snow White, and one for Valentine's Day, and maybe some that I'm forgetting.  They are essentially themed clip shows, but sometimes it would be the only time you would see some of these bits. There were three main types of content spliced together to make this special, so I'm going to talk about each in turn: 1) Material from Movies This is the least interesting part for me now, and I don't remember it much from watching as a kid, so maybe it bored me then too.  A few of the pieces fit the theme well, especially the skating scene from Bambi and the Waltz of the Flowers from Fantasia.