Mainlining Christmas

Here's another parent review for y'all. At some point earlier this year, my daughter decided that she was interested in the Minnie's Bow-Toons shorts that are available on Disney+. And I discovered that there's a whole dang animated Disney Junior universe. As far as I can tell, first there was a popular animated show for preschoolers about Mickey Mouse and friends called Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Minnie's Bow-Toons is a series of shorts spinning off of that show. But after the original MMC stopped airing, it was retooled and returned as a new show in a similar style: Mickey Mouse Roadster Racers, which ran for two seasons before the format was changed again and it was renamed Mickey Mouse Mixed-Up Adventures. This spawned more sets of spin-off shorts, including new seasons of Bow-Toons, now called Minnie's Bow-Toons: Party Palace Pals. The latest season of Bow-Toons, Camp Minnie, changes up its format even further to focus on outdoor activities. There are even mor...

This seems to be one of the most divisive Christmas movies to come along in a while - I've seen reactions ranging from declaring it an instant holiday horror classic to it landing on people's worst-of-year picks. My own opinion isn't anywhere near as extreme one way or the other, though after watching the movie... I can kind of see where both camps are coming from. This one's weird and quirky, with an interesting premise, great performances and characters, a visually iconic killer, some really effective moments, and notable representation for LGBTQ+ horror fans. At the same time, the pacing falls off a ledge in the second act (and never recovers), the fantasy elements are clumsily integrated, and the second half features a chain of bizarre twists that left me at a loss to determine what the movie was even trying to accomplish or say. Depending on what different viewers want out of this, I don't think it's unreasonable to excuse the stuff that doesn't work or...

This is the second time in the space of a year an animated movie was abandoned by the studio that made it, got purchased by a streaming service, and turned out to be... well... pretty goddamn great (the other being the absolute masterpiece  Nimona ). I mention this in part to draw attention to the fact the same person who decided Merry Little Batman wasn't worth releasing on Max is also the guy who wrote off at least two virtually completed films: Batgirl and Scoob! Holiday Haunt... both of which were apparently Christmas movies we'll likely never have an opportunity to watch or discuss here. He's also the same guy who called The Flash the best superhero movie he'd ever seen, in case anyone thought his opinion was worth taking seriously. To summarize, fuck studio executives. I'm sorry. That's really not an appropriate way to kick off an article about a kids' movie, is it? Let me start over.... This kids' movie fucking rules. There. Much better.  Funny, s...

Sitting right on the overlapping portions of a Venn diagram encompassing things that are "very good" and "completely insufferable," the new Apple TV+ live-action/animation hybrid special (they're trying to sell it as a movie, but don't be fooled) feels like the sort of thing that would be divisive if it were streaming on a platform more people actually used. The book this is based on meant a lot to me growing up, though I was a bit taken aback by some of the subtext rereading it now, which comes off as a bit ableist. This is of course far from the first adaptation of the classic children's book, though it's the first I remember encountering that qualifies as Christmas media under most definitions of the term. While you could make a case that the original is incorporating a trope in which a special Christmas present comes to life, Christmas is basically an afterthought in the book, compared with - say - a similar idea forming the backbone of The Nutcr...

The Naughty Nine is Disney's new direct-to-streaming kid's heist adventure about a team of highly-skilled children breaking into Santa's workshop after being snubbed by the Jolly Old Elf on Christmas Eve. My guess is most of you are eyeing that premise the way I did, as a promising idea that most likely wouldn't be executed remotely well enough to work. Disney, after all, certainly wouldn't be my first choice of companies to tackle this sort of thing. But I was pleasantly surprised, at least for the most part. It's that "most part" that's going to be a sticking point: the second act drags, and there's an "obey authority" message embedded in the subtext that doesn't sit well with me. Despite those issues, the characters are fun, the first act is delightful, and the actual emotional arcs are fulfilling enough to justify a recommendation, albeit a tepid one. Lindsay and I had fun with this, and if you're intrigued by the idea of ...

This is a low-budget holiday romcom released direct to Freevee, an ad-supported subservice of Amazon Prime, which was almost certainly rushed through filming prior to the strikes, with a premise likely reverse-engineered from the pun in the title; a pun that has already been used by multiple existing low-budget holiday productions. In a nutshell, it would be hard to imagine a series of warning flags more conclusive that the movie in question was going to be absolutely abysmal. Which makes it all the more shocking that it's actually kind of good. I want to be careful not to oversell this one, because it certainly isn't great. The movie has quite a few problems, including some structural ones, and the bulk of the jokes land closer to "amusing" than "hilarious." But there are a few truly standout moments of both comedy and drama, the cast does really solid work, and - perhaps most notably - Jonah Feingold's direction includes some interesting, smart choices...

This is a remake of a 1991 British TV movie called Bernard and the Genie, which I've yet to see at the time I'm writing this review (though there's a decent chance that'll change before you're actually reading this). Skimming the Wikipedia article for that film, the stories seem quite a bit different, even if the overall premise is the same: a man down on his luck finds a genie who grants him bucketloads of wishes as he tries to fix his problems. Hopefully it worked better the first time around - despite some impressive talent involved, this remake mostly falls flat. The main issue is one of tone, namely that the movie tries to create the wrong one. The scripts for both this and the movie it's based on are written by the legendary Richard Curtis, who seems to treat the story as something of a farce, at least until the resolution. Likewise, Melissa McCarthy is certainly playing the Genie with the same sort of larger-than-life comedic energy. Unfortunately, direct...