Barbie: A Christmas Carol (2008)
I just got through watching Barbie: A Christmas Carol, and wanted to write down a few thoughts while the movie was still fresh in my mind. My first thought isn't so much a thought, per se, as it is an overall emotional response; a desire, in fact. Right now, I want to find a Barbie doll - any Barbie doll - and yank its head off its shoulders. I want to snap every goddamn joint on that thing, and, if possible, I'd really like to feed the pieces through a wood chipper. And before you ask, no: I'm not overreacting. It was really that bad. It was worse - WORSE - than you'd expect a direct-to-DVD Barbie reinterpretation of A Christmas Carol to be. In every imaginable way, it was worse. The animation... oh, God. Dear, God. Why? The characters were less lifelike than the toys they were based on. They weren't just soulless: it was like some demonic spirit crawled up from the depths of Hell and inhabited these empty, plastic shells and brought them to a stat