Mainlining Christmas

Big Business is a 19-minute long Laurel and Hardy short film in which they play Christmas tree salesmen who get in a destructive fight with an angry potential customer.  The holiday elements are fairly light here - aside from a joke or two at the beginning and end, the fact they're selling Christmas trees as opposed to literally anything else is irrelevant to the story or comedy. But it's still technically set at Christmas, so let's take a look. The plot here is simplistic. Laurel and Hardy visit a couple houses without luck before reaching the home where things go off the rails. It starts with the tree (then Hardy's coat) getting repeatedly stuck in the door, requiring them to ring the doorbell, which further annoys the home's owner. The silent picture format is useful for smoothing over the obvious plot contrivance: it's easier to avoid confronting why they're unable to explain the misunderstanding when no one's actually able to speak outside the occas...

Not for the first time, I find myself writing up a movie from the 1930s that's smarter, funnier, and frankly more progressive than virtually any I've encountered from the '40s, '50s, '60s, '70s... honestly, I'm not even sure where the cutoff here is. Almost everything in Bachelor Mother holds up more than eighty years after it was produced. Apparently, this is a remake of a 1935 Austrian-Hungarian film called Kleine Mutti (Little Mother). I found versions of the original on Youtube, but unfortunately none that are subtitled, so I haven't been able to determine just how close the Hollywood version sticks to the original, including whether the holiday setting was carried over or added in the remake. As always, I'd be grateful to anyone who wants to shed some light in the comment section. Regardless, Bachelor Mother is a romantic comedy starring Ginger Rogers as Polly, a department store clerk losing her job on Christmas Eve due to usual seasonal cuts. ...

I think the official title for this is simply, "Good Cheer," as opposed to "Hal Roach Presents His Rascals in Good Cheer," but the longer version gives at least a hint as to what this actually is. My generation thinks of this property as "The Little Rascals," though that branding came quite a bit later. "Hals's Rascals" is already an alternate name for what started as "Our Gang," a series of short films about a group of poor kids who went through comical adventures. Regardless of what it's called, this is indeed a 1926 Little Rascals Christmas film. First, let's talk a little about what that means. The Our Gang shorts started in 1922 and were produced in various incarnations for decades. The premise centered on the idea that kids acting relatively naturally would make for good comedy, particularly when compared against the unrealistic behavior and dialogue they were typically directed to present at the time. Good Cheer is re...

This seems to be one of the most divisive Christmas movies to come along in a while - I've seen reactions ranging from declaring it an instant holiday horror classic to it landing on people's worst-of-year picks. My own opinion isn't anywhere near as extreme one way or the other, though after watching the movie... I can kind of see where both camps are coming from. This one's weird and quirky, with an interesting premise, great performances and characters, a visually iconic killer, some really effective moments, and notable representation for LGBTQ+ horror fans. At the same time, the pacing falls off a ledge in the second act (and never recovers), the fantasy elements are clumsily integrated, and the second half features a chain of bizarre twists that left me at a loss to determine what the movie was even trying to accomplish or say. Depending on what different viewers want out of this, I don't think it's unreasonable to excuse the stuff that doesn't work or...

It's always hard approaching movies which were clearly made on a virtually non-existent budget, and this one's harder than usual. The Magical Christmas Tree feels limited by resources in ways that severely hamper the experience. At the same time, there are some really good aspects to the film that stand out. More than that, it offers a unique premise and highly unusual kind of representation within the universe of Christmas media. Which leads me to this very targeted recommendation: if the idea of a fantasy romantic Christmas comedy built around non-binary characters sounds like something you've been waiting for, there's a good chance you're going to love this despite its shortcomings. I'll add some of the movie's strongest assets reinforce that feature. The lead, Socks Whitmore, delivers a solid comedic performance as Pace. Ky Mullen does a decent job as well as their love interest, an elf named Buddy, but now I'm drifting into the premise, so let's...

Disclaimer up front: I would not consider this a Christmas movie, and was on the fence about writing it up at all. The holidays are never discussed until a character unexpectedly mentions it's Christmas Eve around the 35-minute mark, and less than twenty minutes later, the New Year's Eve section ends. Aside from some scattered decorations and a lot of snow, there's not really anything else to even superficially tie it back to the holidays. A few years ago, I wouldn't even have considered writing this up, but our philosophy has shifted a bit towards examining how the holidays are used in media, as opposed to only focusing on movies that meet our arbitrary definition. In addition, well... there's actually something interesting going on here with the holidays I'll get to in a moment. First, let's talk about the movie itself. "Better Off Dead" is an '80s romantic comedy written and directed by Savage Steve Holland, creator of Eek! The Cat, and star...

This is the second time in the space of a year an animated movie was abandoned by the studio that made it, got purchased by a streaming service, and turned out to be... well... pretty goddamn great (the other being the absolute masterpiece  Nimona ). I mention this in part to draw attention to the fact the same person who decided Merry Little Batman wasn't worth releasing on Max is also the guy who wrote off at least two virtually completed films: Batgirl and Scoob! Holiday Haunt... both of which were apparently Christmas movies we'll likely never have an opportunity to watch or discuss here. He's also the same guy who called The Flash the best superhero movie he'd ever seen, in case anyone thought his opinion was worth taking seriously. To summarize, fuck studio executives. I'm sorry. That's really not an appropriate way to kick off an article about a kids' movie, is it? Let me start over.... This kids' movie fucking rules. There. Much better.  Funny, s...

I kind of wish I could claim I just randomly stumbled across this gem, but the truth is I found this - along with a handful of other movies - on this list of great European Christmas films last year. Three Wishes for Cinderella (we'll stick with the English title, though apparently, "Three Chestnuts for Cinderella" would have been a more accurate translation) is an adaptation of the classic fairytale. Or, more precisely, an adaptation of a specific version of said fairytale written by Božena Němcová a century earlier (thanks, Wikipedia!). The movie is set during the holidays and is apparently a tradition in some areas of Europe the way Rudolph or Frosty is here. I'll circle back to the holidays, but first I want to dig into why this is - in my opinion, of course - the best live-action version of Cinderella I've ever seen. Maybe the best version, period (the Disney classic is probably my least favorite of their films from that era). And if you're tempted to ob...

I'd seen conflicting reports on whether or not Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush was a Christmas movie, so I decided to check for myself. I've seen several of Chapman's other films over the past year, and consider him one of the most consistently entertaining filmmakers of his era (possibly the most entertaining, in fact). While The Gold Rush might be my least favorite of his movies I've seen to date, it's still quite good, and it technically meets our definition for a Christmas movie, which you probably guessed from the fact you're reading this at all. I want to stress that the word "technically" is doing some heavy lifting. The movie doesn't mention or acknowledge Christmas itself, though both Thanksgiving and New Year's are significant dates in the narrative, making it easy to confirm the bulk of screen time is spent on or between these holidays. In fact, only the first and last fifteen minutes fall outside this range. I should mention the...

Placido, a 1961 Spanish Christmas film by Luis García Berlanga satirizing performative charity, places me in an awkward position in which my opinion and appraisal of the movie are very different from the experience I had watching it. To be clear, this is a fantastic film - my issues are not with the movie, at all. The problem is me , and unfortunately, I expect a lot of people would run into a similar issue, which is why I can't quite recommend it to most of you. The problem is one of translation, and it's not the issue you're probably expecting. But before I go on, I will say it doesn't apply if you're able to speak the language. If that's the case and you're a fan of movies from this era (or most eras, really - the comedy here is pretty timeless), by all means track this down at once. But as for the rest of my fellow dumb Americans (or British or whoever else stumbles across this blog), you'll probably want to read on. Because, while I think the movie...

Here's another random show that my kid likes. The Book of Pooh was a Disney Channel show telling new Pooh stories with puppets and CG backgrounds. Looking back at it today it's a bit dated at times, but at other times it resembles pop-up illustrations or watercolors in an interesting way. Like many kids shows, it features music and mildly educational content. In this special Christmas episode, Roo can't sleep on the night before Christmas Eve, so Kanga sings him a song-story about a magic wish-granting tree that appears if there's snow on Christmas Eve. Side note: Kanga and Roo weren't in the first season of this show, so I hadn't seen much of their house before this episode. Roo's bedroom has a boomerang displayed on the wall and a prominent toy koala. I think that's a cute touch. Kanga doesn't completely finish the story before Roo gets distracted and then falls asleep, so Roo assumes the tree grants any wish for anyone (which is not what she said)...

I'm a little unclear on some details, but this appears to have been part of a series of adventures built around the character, "Octavius, the Amateur Detective." Based on a title card's invitation to read the story in "The Pictorial Review," I'm assuming it was a series of short stories adapted into film. If "The Adventure of the Wrong Santa Claus" is any indication, these were comedy adventures. The story starts with Octavius being asked to come to a friend's family Christmas party and dress as Santa. He purchases a costume and heads over. While at the party, he's introduced to Grace, who is... some relation to his friends. Or something. He's also informed that there's a spare Santa suit in a spare room, though he decides to wear his own. Unbeknownst to Octavius, a burglar skulking outside overheard that there was a spare Santa suit, broke in, and changed. While Octavius is getting changed, the thief sneaks in and knocks him un...

Calling Two Front Teeth, a Christmas horror/comedy hybrid about a vampiric Santa and his elves, low budget is a bit of an understatement (or perhaps I should say overstatement, as I suspect the filmmakers had less money than even the phrase "low budget" usually implies). This is a micro-budget horror film that looks more like an ambitious student project than an independent production, the sort of movie produced by friends on nights and weekends. That, of course, makes it difficult to review, because barring a handful of miracles that launched careers with projects like these, films at this level are virtually incapable of competing with those made with actual resources. And since no one's talking about this the way they discuss El Mariachi or The Blair Witch Project, you already know it's not one of the exceptions. At the same time, there's a great deal to appreciate here, starting with that premise (credit where it's due - they beat me to the idea by six yea...