Posts

Care Bears Nutcracker Suite (1988)

Image
The Care Bears Nutcracker Suite (or The Care Bears Nutcracker, depending on the release), was the last of the 1980's Care Bears television specials, and by most accounts the worst. Relatively speaking, I didn't find it that bad, but then I haven't seen the other two. Maybe they're masterworks of brilliance, for all I know. I kind of doubt it, though. Let's be clear - this isn't good in any meaningful definition of the word. It's bad. Kind of really bad. It doesn't make sense, and it feels like the unholy love child of a toy commercial and the drug-fueled ramblings of a coke-head. But then, isn't that what the 80's were truly about? Ostensibly, this was supposed to be based on The Nutcracker. That might be a bit of a stretch: this is mainly an excuse for the Care Bears to roam around Toyland, a concept that feels hopelessly redundant. I mean, the animated Care Bears have stitches on their backs: there's no way they're supposed to be

Christmas with the Chipmunks (CD 2010)

Image
This year I made a point of adding to my collection of holiday music with what I'm calling Novelty Character Albums . What I mean is, albums where most of the gimmick is that the songs are being sung by fictional characters. I, honestly, love character-based Christmas music. There are so many seasonal songs that are good no matter what, but when, for example, the Muppets sing them, they become transcendent. The first one I'm looking at is also the oldest (date on the CD notwithstanding). The Chipmunks have been a novelty act since the 1950's, and their hit holiday song won a Grammy at the very first Grammy Awards . So for historical purposes, I had to get one of their compilations. The company that owns The Chipmunks has been putting out different combinations of holiday songs since 1961, generally just re-combining and re-releasing the same tracks. So even though this CD was technically released in 2010, the recordings are all from the 60's. With that out of th

Happy Black Friday Eve

I'm telling you, it feels like the Black Friday season gets here earlier every year. I realize that the season doesn't really change - it still starts the day after Halloween and goes until Black Friday Eve - but I swear stores have started putting out decorations and merchandise before kids are back in school. But all of that's behind us, as we settle down to feast with family and friends tonight in preparation of tomorrow's big day. So, whether you're planning on spending this Black Friday Eve gathered around a roast turkey or if you and a loved one are trying to force down peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in line outside a Walmart while cross-referencing a map of the store against a sales flyer, we wish you and your family the best this holiday season. But Black Friday is about more than just you: it's about all of us. It's about America. In fact, very few people know this, but just as Christmas was scheduled around co-opted pagan holidays, Black Fr

Live-Tweeting the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!

Mainlining Christmas will be covering the Macy's Thanksgiving parade! Live! From NEW YORK CITY (more specifically, from our apartment in Queens, where we'll be watching it on TV). Yeah. Here's the link .

Terry Pratchett's Hogfather (2006)

Image
Clocking in at two ninety-minute episodes, this is one of the longer pieces of work we've seen for this project, but it's completely worth the time. This is an excellent adaptation of the novel, with all of its zany twists and dry satirical humor. As in said novel, the plot revolves around Hogswatch (Christmas) on Discworld. The Hogfather is missing, and while Death himself holds down the fort, his granddaughter Susan has to figure out what happened, then how to save both Hogswatch and possibly the Discworld itself. The characters are fun and interesting, most of my favorite parts of the book made it into the adaptation, and Erin, who hasn't read the book, was able to follow the plot, and the point, without a problem. I'm hoping to re-read the novel soon and post about it, so I won't go too far into the plot here. Instead I'll give you a few screenshots. I wish there had been more Death of Rats, but Death was surprisingly well done. I wasn't sure that

The Christmas Magic Returns

Do you believe in Christmas? Do you love Christmas? Most people would answer yes to those questions without a moment's hesitation. And that's a shame, because it means they're not considering the implications. It means they don't actually know what Christmas is. To many people, Christmas is silver bells, angels, and love. But that's not Christmas. Christmas is an angler fish a thousand feet long from the space between worlds; its tinsel and decorative lights are lures to draw us in, so the jaws can snap shut. You think I'm being harsh? Think I'm just cynical? Then you don't know a damn thing about Christmas -  you've never seen its teeth. Have you listened to 20 versions of Silent Night back to back? Have you stared into the abyss long enough to see the icy stare of a snowman gazing back? No? Then you don't know Christmas: you know only its shadow. Last year, we descended into the wide maw of the holiday. We stared down its throat and

The Countdown Begins

Image
We're back .